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Signs She Is Pretending to Love You

relationship advice signs she... Apr 20, 2022
Woman looking away from man in bed

Worried someone you're seeing doesn’t love you in the same way?

Loving someone who doesn't reciprocate can be painful...

It's 100x worse if that someone *pretends* to love you, and gives you false senses of hope and security in a fictitious future together ðŸ’” 

If you’re serious about a woman you've been dating, but you're concerned she might be leading you on...

Watch out for these signs that she is pretending to love you ðŸ‘‡




She Is Distant With Other People Around

Woman looking off into the distance alone

One critical red flag is if she becomes more distant when the two of you are around other people ðŸš©

If a girl really loves you, she wants the whole world to know that you’re hers!

She'll kiss you, hug you, put her arms around you, and hold your hand while walking down the street... ðŸ¥°

If she’s deliberately not affectionate in public, there's a chance she is pretending to love you.

Or, in the best case, she’s not ready to let the world know that you're more than just casually dating.

It's true that some women are more comfortable with physical touch than others.

So it's wrong to assume that no PDA means she is pretending to love you.

The critical distinction is contrast in her behavior. For example:

  • She's affectionate when you're in private ðŸ˜š
  • But distinctively unaffectionate when you're in public ðŸ¥¶

(Aside: if you're curious to learn more about touch, check out my post on the love language of physical touch here!)




She Avoids Introducing You To Family & Friends

Man and woman on couch looking dissatisfied with each other

As you form a deeper relationship with a woman, you'll both integrate into each others' lives. This means meeting her friends, family, and everyone else that matters to her ðŸ¤—

Does it feel like she's hiding you from her loved ones?

For example, you've been dating for months, and yet she:

  • Deliberately attends group social events, like office holiday parties, solo ðŸ˜ž
  • Downplays your role in her life when she talks to her friends on the phone ðŸ¤«
  • Has met your family, but gives flimsy reasons to avoid introducing you to her family ðŸ˜“

If this is the case, she may be pretending to love you.

Before you conclude she's pretending to love you...

⚠️  First, consider the depth and direction of your relationship.

If you're at the outset of a relationship, her hesitancy to introduce you to her social circle might mean literally nothing.

You may want to meet her loved ones after a few dates, but she might need more time!

Also, if you've been dating for months, and you've discussed how you don't see a future together...

It's no surprise if she doesn't introduce you to her loved ones!

⚠️  She won't introduce you to her friends and family if she doesn't see a future with you.

She doesn't want to deal with the effort and probing questions about you if she doesn't expect to have a relationship with you in the future.

But let's say you perceive her as a long-term partner, and she's communicated the same to you...

It's definitely a red flag if she avoids introducing you to her friends and family ðŸš© 

If this is the case...

Chat with her about your feelings, and ask her about hers.

Try to understand: does she not see a future with you?




She Doesn't Match Your Effort

Man and woman at dinner table, with woman looking away from man

"Actions speak louder than words."

You've probably heard this adage a million times, but nowhere is it more true or important than in dating.

If you're ever questioning a woman's feelings about you...

💡 The best way to tell if she loves you is to ignore what she says, and watch what she does.

For example, it's nice that a woman will say "I love you," but it's hollow and not worth the breath it's uttered with if:

  • She won't make time to see you â±ï¸
  • She belittles you, or doesn't appreciate you ðŸ™‍♂️
  • She's hot and cold, or otherwise inconsistent ðŸš°
  • She asks you for things, but will seldom return favors ðŸ“‰

Here are specific questions to ask yourself to determine if she is pretending to love you based on her actions:

  • How often does she prioritize your needs? ðŸ¤”
  • When did she last compromise with you on something? ðŸ¤
  • What are some sacrifices she made for you, or your relationship? ðŸ™
  • What are some gestures she’s made to show her love and affection? â¤ï¸
  • Do you play second fiddle to other people, particularly other men, in her life? ðŸ˜•

A partner who truly loves you will find ways to make you feel loved.

A woman who is pretending to love you may go through the motions (e.g. she may verbally profess her "love") but as another saying goes:

"Talk is cheap."




Closing Thoughts & Next Steps

The three most important signs that she is pretending to love you are:

  1. She becomes starkly more distant when you're around other people ðŸ‘¥
  2. She hides you from her family and friends ðŸ•¶ï¸
  3. She doesn't match your effort ðŸ™…‍♀️

Still, before you convince yourself that she’s pretending to love you, consider the other side of the coin.

For example, think about signs she is developing feelings for you. Are these absent from your relationship?

And above all else...

Talk to her about your concerns!

As they say, to "assume" make an "ass" out of "u" and "me" 😉

But like we discussed earlier, pay attention to her actions, not just her words.



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