For Men, A Guide To Dating In A New City

Last updated
February 3, 2024
minutes to read
For Men, A Guide To Dating In A New City

Moving to a new city can be overwhelming, especially if you’re moving alone.

You may be experiencing multiple life transitions at once: new job or school, new home, new routine, new friends, plus other changes that can naturally create stress...

Throw dating into the mix, and it's a lot to adjust to 🤯

Here's how to step outside of your comfort zone, and land dates in a new city 👇


1. Start Exploring

Gif of Kermit The Frog looking at a map

Before you’ve settled into a routine, take time to find your bearings.

  • 🗽 What historical landmarks should you see?
  • 🏛️ Are there key museums to check out?
  • 🌆 Any awesome views or landscapes?

You may be wondering what this has to do with dating...

A lot, actually!

Your first few months in a new city present a rare opportunity to familiarize yourself with places you can meet new people, and places you can go on dates.

Explore local restaurants, interesting neighborhoods, trendy bars, and hip stores to get acquainted, and think to yourself:

Where are people I want to meet spending time?

2. Don’t Be Afraid To Go Out Alone

Gif of the Most Interesting Man In The World from Dos Equis ads clapping.

Going out alone can feel weird, particularly for introverts...

But if you’re single, and haven’t made a steady group of friends yet...

Resist the urge to spend the night alone at home, or sitting silently at a bar scrolling through Instagram! 😜

Put your phone away, go out on your own, and allow yourself to escape your comfort zone.

It can actually be easier to meet people when you go out alone, vs when you go out with friends.

Sure, hitting the town with 6 of your best guy friends can be fun...

But it gives you an excuse to not meet new people, because you're focused on having fun with the group 🤐

One important callout here: going out alone is a skill.

It will feel awkward if you're new to it.

But if you practice, you'll feel more comfortable on your own, and you'll also build comfort striking up conversations with strangers 🗣️

Remember, you have an amazing excuse to approach anyone you want (including that beautiful woman seated at the other side of the bar).

Just say something like:

"Hey, I'm new to town, and have never been here before. What should I order?"

☝️ Everybody loves to share recommendations, so take advantage of it!

3. Lean Into Your Hobbies

Gif of a man with six arms, spinning a ceramic pot, stirring a bowl of soup, holding a book, and mixing paint.

As much as I'm enthusiastic about you stepping outside of your comfort zone...

Don't force yourself to do things you don’t like simply for the sake of meeting people!

For example if you don't like to drink, you shouldn't embark on solo bar crawls in hopes of meeting new friends (or women to ask on dates) 😕

You want to meet people (and date women) who have similar interests as you.

So, make a list of you top five hobbies or things you love to do and find groups or activities in your new city.

  • 🧘🏻‍♂️ If you do love yoga… then a great way to meet likeminded new friends or potential partners is definitely to sign up for a class pass at your local yoga studio.
  • 📚 If you enjoy reading… check out if your local indie bookstore has book clubs.
  • 🥙 If you’re a foodie… look for local food tours or tastings in your city.
  • 🏃🏻‍♂️ If you’re into sports… get involved with local rec leagues or club teams.

Spending time connecting to others in your new city through your existing hobbies is one of the best ways to meet new people, and ground yourself!

4. Make Platonic Friends

Gif of a guy and a girl seated in a car together, with the guy saying "We're just platonic friends, I'm not a threat or anything"

Feeling intimidated to immediately jump into dating?

Focus on making new friends, both male and female, instead. Building a social circle is a great way to meet quality romantic partners down the road, too 😏

Want a pro-tip to make friends fast?

Ask your existing friends and colleagues for introductions to anyone they new in your new city.

Connecting with friends of friends is an excellent way to embed yourself in your new city.

You'll learn about their favorite places, and who knows, maybe you'll actually form meaningful relationships with these people 😎

Many of my best friends in Texas (where I moved in 2020) are people my friends from home introduced me to!

5. Ask For Recommendations

Gif of a woman saying, "You can be my tour guide"

Whenever you do start dating in your new city...

Don’t feel like you have to run the show!

It's OK to ask new friends and acquaintances to show you their favorite bars and restaurants 🤩

Playing tour guide is fun for most people, and the more you're willing to stick your neck out, the more friends you'll make, and the more opportunities you'll have to meet new people in the wild (girls included 🙃)!

Wrap up & next steps

Now that you've got some strategies to settle in, let's get your dating life on track!

Want to approach women the RIGHT way, without being awkward or creepy?

👉 Check out my newest course, Approach Academy.

You'll learn my idiot-proof five-step process to meet and create chemistry with women IRL, even if you're introverted.

Then, here are 3 more ideas to uplevel your dating life...

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Idea #3: Read more articles