If you've ever noticed that a girl has gone out of her way to initiate conversations with you...
For example, she:
Texts you to make conversation, and asks about your day, or shares stories from hers
Gravitates toward you in social settings, and always seems excited to chat with you
Drops by your desk to ask questions, particularly questions she could ask someone else
There's a solid chance she's romantically interested in you!
By finding reasons to talk with you, she's both (A) signaling she enjoys your company, and (B) giving you opportunities to make a move 🙋♀️
Obviously, context matters.
It's very possible she's just being friendly when she talks to you...
Two things you should consider that can better illuminate her intentions, and how you should respond:
How does she treat you, vis-à-vis other guys? If you're getting special treatment (i.e. she seems to chat with you than anyone else), it's a good sign she has more-than-platonic feelings for you.
Is this the only sign, or are there others? Short of her flat-out saying it, no one sign in isolation can definitively confirm if woman is interested in you romantically. But the more of the signs you see, the higher the likelihood!
2. She's highly responsive to you
The single most important and universal dating rule that everyone can benefit remembering is...
EFFORT = INTEREST
This is especially true when it comes to texting and communication 📲
Let's say you met a woman in a platonic context, you occasionally swap friendly messages on Instagram. You'd be interested in exploring the possibility of romance with her, but you're unsure if she feels the same way...
Her responsiveness will tell you everything you need to know.
Is she responsive and engaged when you communicate?
➡️ She's into you, and wants you to make a move.
Is she slow and disengaged when you communicate?
➡️ She's NOT into you, and you should invest your time and energy elsewhere.
In short, effort = interest, and responsiveness is an excellent indicator of effort!
3. She pays you compliments
Know how when you have a crush, your brain can stir up all sorts of glowing adjectives to describe her?
Women have the same feelings, and if a woman works up the courage to actually pay you a compliment, it's often a sign she wants you to make a move!
Compliments make us feel good. Receiving praise has the same positive neurological effect as receiving a monetary reward according to research, and people are generally drawn toward positivity.
Positive sentiment is contagious. When you receive a compliment, you're often inclined to pay one in return, and the good feelings grow.
Everyone wants to date up. The more a woman admires about you, the more interest she tends to have in pursuing something romantic with you.
In short, the next time a woman pays you a compliment, for example:
🗣️ SHE SAYS: You're so good at that!
🗣️ SHE SAYS: I think you look great.
🗣️ SHE SAYS: You're so kind!
Rather than trying to brush her compliment off...
Treat it as a sign she likes you!
Pay her a genuine compliment in return, and consider making a move 😃
Obviously there are situations where eye contact doesn't mean a woman is romantically interested...
For example, a woman might repeatedly glance at you if a bird poops in your hair 😅
But especially in combination with other signs, repeated eye contact and glances absolutely indicate a woman wants you to make a move!
If you're close enough to notice, look at her pupils too.
If they're dilated, it's often a sign she's romantically interested 🔥
8. Her friends bring her up to you
Remember how in middle school, communicating your interest in a girl involved an elaborate game of telephone, and even brokering, between friends?
Thankfully most people age out of this! Even as adults, though...
If a woman wants you to make a move, it's not unusual for her friends to mention it, or her, to you.
This isn't a deliberately avoidant tactic — it's usually just a function of how:
Most women won't directly tell you if they want you to make a move 🙊
Most women do communicate openly about their feelings with their friends, though 👯
Everyone loves to play cupid 💘
Notice a woman's friends tend to bring her up in conversation with you?
(Particularly if they drop not-so-subtle hints like "she thinks you're cute...")
Make a move already!
9. She’s interested in your personal life
Just like how effort = interest...
Interest = interest!
When a woman is highly engaged with everything going on in your personal life, for example:
The specifics of a project you're jamming on at work
How your parents and siblings are doing
Your plans for travel later this year
It's often a sign she wants you to make a move!
In general, people are as interested in the activities you're involved with as they're interested in you.
(This is why Mom is always happy to hear about your trip to the grocery store, even when you know sharing details about what yogurts you bought might bore anyone else to tears 🥲)
In short, if a girl engages with your personal life, and especially the mundane details, there's a good chance she's interested in becoming more deeply involved!
10. She remembers things you said
The same interest = interest principle we covered above applies here, too.
If a woman remembers little things you said, like:
Why you needed to drive six hours, and who you were visiting, last weekend...
How you were interviewing for a new job...
When you're jumping town for the holidays, and when you'll be back...
There's a good chance she's wants you to make a move!
We tend to remember things that are subconsciously important to us. So when a woman remembers details about your personal life, it's a sign you're on her mind 🙃
Wrap up & next steps
I hope this overview of the signs a woman wants you to make a move was helpful 🙋♀️
The most important things to remember are:
Individual, isolated signs don't mean much. We discussed this already, but to emphasize the point... Your boss may be interested in your personal life, and remember things you said, because she has a professional interest in your work, not because she wants you to make a move!
Ask if you're unsure. Check out my article on ways to tell a girl you like for help floating your interest out in a non-needy, and non-awkward way that will help you get the answers you need.
I bet you're curious, because most guys ask me...