Stuck in the friend zone, and want to get out?
I'm Blaine, I'm a dating coach for men, I've helped literally thousands of men escape the friend zone, and I'm excited to help you too.
Today we'll cover:
Let's dive in 🪂
👩⚕️ A doctor wouldn’t prescribe you medication without first diagnosing your condition.
Similarly, before I can get you out of the friend zone...
We need to talk about why you’re in the friend zone!
Nominally there are hundreds of reasons a woman may place a man in the friend zone, for example:
But these "reasons" tend to all trace back to three true, underlying causes:
(Btw here's an article on "the ick" if you haven't heard about it before!)
You may be wondering:
"Blaine, it's nice to know WHY I'm in the friend zone, but I want to GET OUT of the friend zone... Can we talk about that now?"
We can absolutely talk about it!
But first, I want you to promise not to shoot the messenger 👼
Once a woman has put you in the friend zone, it's hard to get out.
Tough dating truth: women and men both subconsciously place people they meet into boxes, like "has romantic potential box" or "nope, friend box" 🗃️
This categorization isn't irreversible...
But it can take years of effort to escape the friend zone 🤕
(I don't make the rules — this is just a painful reality of dating!)
To get out of the friend zone once a woman has put you in it, you need to do three things:
If and when the opportunity eventually presents itself (maybe you're hanging out as friends, and she pays you an unsolicited comment about how far you've come...)
Then you can discuss giving romance another shot 💑
In the meantime, I recommend learning where to meet women, so you can focus your efforts elsewhere!
OK, ready for the good stuff?
Here are two simple ways to stay out of the friend zone when you meet new women going forward 👇
I know asking you to be more selfish sounds crazy...
But this doesn’t mean I want you to be a jerk!
I just want you to take time every day to do something for yourself 😃
Ideally you use this time to improve yourself (e.g. work on a side hustle, or work out).
Your selfish activity doesn’t have to be goal-oriented, though.
You could literally eat an ice cream sandwich while watching Netflix on your couch, if it's deliberate, and if it gives you guilt-free joy you're missing today 🍦
Women are attracted to guys who prioritize themselves.
And they aren't attracted to guys who are always trying to make other people happy, at the expense of their own happiness...
So prioritizing yourself like this can help you get out of the friend zone, and avoid it going forward.
Particularly up front, while she's subconsciously determining whether to put you in the "has romantic potential box" or the "nope, friend box" 🗃️
There are many different ways to show you're interested, for example:
👉 Try touching her. Touch is powerful because it signals you have confidence, and it can physically cause her body to release chemicals that scientists believe make her feel attracted to you.
(I'm not making this up — learn more about the special "touch" chemical oxytocin here if you're interested — I'll try to avoid making a 'chemistry' pun 🧪😉)
The safest places to try touching her are her hand, shoulder, or elbow because they are relatively non-invasive.
Just pay attention for cues she does, or doesn't, appreciate being touched (for example, her facial expressions — does she look pleased or displeased you touched her?) and follow suit.
🗣️ Tell her you're interested. You can literally say "I like you..." or try any of these options to ask her out:
There are key advantages to telling a girl you like her when you first meet her.
Being direct with women about your feelings can help you avoid the friend zone because just the act of asking for what you want demonstrates confidence, and is therefore a turn-on 🥰
(Also, you can find more tips on how to tell a girl you like her here!)
OK, what'd we learn today?
I hope this was helpful! If you're ready to take the next step in your dating life, here are three more ideas 👇
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I'd love to share my best FREE dating guides with you:
Just tell me where to send them here!