Wondering if your crush is dating other guys?
First, take a deep breath, and take a load off 😤
It's OK and normal to want to know if a woman you're seeing is seeing other men.
Besides, you deserve to know, so you can adjust your plans accordingly!
Today we'll cover 3 ways to tell if a woman has multiple partners.
Let's dive in 🪂
1. Look For Signs
If a woman has multiple partners, she'll often behave accordingly.
For example, ask yourself:
- 🤐 Does she say she's busy when you ask her out, but she doesn't tell you what those plans are?
- 😒 Does she text other people when she's around you, but she's evasive or deflective when you ask who she's communicating with?
- 😮 Is she still active on dating apps like Hinge, Bumble, or Tinder?
- 😬 Does she say things that imply she might be dating around, like "I'm not ready to be exclusive yet?"
- 🤔 Do you notice physical evidence, like unexplained flowers or gifts at her apartment?
These can all be signs that a woman you're seeing is also seeing other men.
Just be aware that none of these signs is definitive on its own.
For example, if you haven't been seeing each other for long, and she doesn't share why she's busy when she says she can't see you,she may just be exercising her independence, which is totally normal!
Also, keep in mind:
- It's OK to keep your eyes peeled for signs a woman you're seeing has multiple partners ✅
- It's not OK to confront her about these signs in an accusatory way, particularly because it makes you look like a jerk ❌
(PS — if you're not sure her feelings are genuine, check out these signs she is developing feelings for you!)
2. Ask Her Directly
It might seem unintuitive, but...
The best way to know for sure if a woman has multiple partners is to directly ask her.
It can definitely be an awkward topic to discuss!
But if it's weighing on your mind, and you ask in a thoughtful way...
- She is almost certain to be honest with you ✔️
- The act of asking won't damage your relationship ✔️
The right way to ask is 1x1, in-person, in the midst of a normal activity or date you share together.
Wait for the right moment, then ask 🗣️
Here's some sample language you can use to both soften and focus the question:
- "If you're open to sharing with me — are you seeing other people?"
- "So that I have the right expectations about where our relationship is at, I wanted to ask you — are you seeing other people?"
- "I really like you, and I'm interested in escalating our relationship together, so I wanted to talk with you about whether we could be exclusive."
⚠️ One callout: it's not appropriate to ask if a woman is seeing other people until you've formed a deep enough relationship that the information is relevant.
There's no exact "appropriate" number of dates you need to have gone on before you ask, but...
⚠️ It's basically never appropriate to ask before a third date.
She may say she's seeing other people, and that can hurt (but it's actually OK, as we'll cover momentarily!)
3. Assume She Is Seeing Other People
This probably isn't what you want to hear, but it's the cold hard truth 🥶
If you haven't had "the talk" to establish that you're exclusive...
The girl you're dating is probably seeing other people!
This is the norm! It's impossible to know who the right partner will be without dating around a bit.
At risk of making a bad analogy, she needs to try a few samples to know which flavor to buy 😙
So, it's wise to assume any woman you're dating is seeing other guys, and plan accordingly:
- 🧺 Don't put all your eggs in one basket (seriously, you should date around too)
- 🛡️ Protect yourself (in every sense of the word!)
- 😌 Deliberately ask if you decide you want to be exclusive with her (if and when that time comes)
If you're not dating around, you should be — here's a free guide on where to meet women in case it can be helpful!
Ok, what'd we learn today?
The best ways to tell if a woman has multiple partners are:
- Look for signs. If she behaves like she is seeing other guys (for example, she is often busy nights you ask her on dates, and doesn't explain why), she is probably seeing other guys 🤷
- Ask her directly. The only way to know for sure is to pop the question. It's not inappropriate to ask, as long as you frame it thoughtfully 🗣️
- Assume she is. The reality of dating in the digital age is that she's probably seeing other people until she tells you she isn't. Plan accordingly ❤️
Above all else, take care of yourself, and good luck, and check out the ideas below if you need more dating tips👇