First date gifts for girls are rarely a good idea.
Bringing a gift to a first date can imply you're needy. Think about your emotional motivation for giving a woman a gift — usually it's to impress her. This is needy, and virtually nothing turns women off more than neediness 😬
As a rule of thumb, save gifts (in the traditional sense of the word) for women you've established relationships with.
That is to say, you shouldn't think about buying a physical gift for a woman until you've been on multiple dates with her...
... and, in many cases, even had "the talk" about exclusivity 💑
The only scenarios where it's appropriate to give a woman a gift on a first date are when:
The gift won't make you look needy ✔️
The gift won't make her uncomfortable ✔️
Let's look at specific examples next.
2. Bad first date gifts
It's generally a bad look to bring a gift for a girl to a first date.
Here are specific examples of gifts to avoid, several of which I've seen recommended on other dating blogs (yikes!):
💐❌ Bouquet of flowers. Women love flowers, but only from men they already have a romantic connection with. A bouquet isn't the right play on a first date — flowers are best delivered as a surprise, outside of a date, after she already likes you.
🍫❌ Box of chocolates. Same idea as flowers: women love chocolates, but not from men they barely know. Chocolates or other treats are best saved for a surprise, outside of a date.
❌💎 Jewelry. Jewelry should be an obvious no-no, but I saw Google search results for "first date gifts" that suggested jewelry was appropriate, so I wanted to clarify. Nothing would make you look needier (and torch your chances of a relationship more) than to give a woman fancy jewelry before you're in a relationship together.
There are occasionally exceptions to these rules.
For example, either of the following might be OK gifts, even on a first date, particularly if you have a pre-existing relationship with the woman, or you have strong chemistry:
🌻 Flowers you picked en route to your date. If you happened to walk by a patch of flowers on your way to wherever you're meeting your date, then picking one and giving it to your date when you arrive is a genuinely cute and thoughtful idea!
🍪 Cookie you baked. If you were coincidentally baking before your date, you can absolutely bring a fresh-baked cookie you made along with you.
But these are special exceptions... The only reason these gift ideas are OK is because they're small, spontaneous, and authentic ✔️
If you deliberately bake cookies before a date for the purpose of impressing a woman, the spontaneity is gone, and the gesture won't work in your favor.
Always err on the side of not bringing a physical gift on a first date.
3. Good first date gifts
I lied to you 😅
There are several "gifts" (metaphorically speaking) that are essential to give to a woman on a first date.
These gifts include:
⏲️ The gift of punctuality. Women notice and appreciate men who are punctual (i.e. arrive at dates on time) for several reasons. First, being on time signals the date is a priority for you. Second, being on time signals you mean what you say. Third, being on-time (or better yet, early) prevents your date from awkwardly waiting alone when she arrives. Absolutely share the gift of punctuality with your first dates.
👇 The gift of presence. I've heard it said that "presence is a present," and nowhere is that more true than on a first date. Some guys make the mistake of imagining a future together with a woman too soon; others make the mistake of fixating on past struggles or experiences; both are bad habits for dating! The point of a first date is to understand whether you enjoy spending time with someone here and now — stay present to make this possible!
💵 Paying for the date. As a man, you should always plan to pay for a first date. This is partially because it's tradition; partially because you invited the woman out with you, and not vice-versa. Unless she insists on splitting the bill, you should decline her offer to split it with you, too.
Paying for first dates (or buying women drinks) always stirs controversy when I mention it on Instagram or TikTok.
I don't necessarily disagree with the guys who argue it isn't "fair" that they have to pay 🤷♀️
Here's the thing though:
If you expect to split the tab on first dates, you'll repel a lot of women.
Treat first dates as a gift, don't expect anything in return beyond good company, and you'll be on the right track!
Wrap up & next steps
Today we talked about first dates gifts, and learned:
First date gifts are rarely appropriate at least in the traditional sense of the word "gift" 🎁
You should avoid gifts like flowers, chocolate, and jewelry because these things can make you look needy 😮💨
Presence, punctuality, and picking up the tab are great "gifts" for first dates because they send the right message ✔️
Want to nail your first date, but have more questions?
Here are a few other resources you may find helpful: