First Date Gifts For Her - Tips From A Dating Coach

Last updated
February 3, 2024
minutes to read
First Date Gifts For Her - Tips From A Dating Coach

Landed a first date, and wondering if a gift is a good idea?

I'm Blaine, I'm a dating coach for men, and today we'll cover:

  1. When first date gifts are appropriate. Sneak preview: gifts in a traditional sense are rarely a good idea on first dates, and I'll cover why ๐ŸŽ
  2. Bad first date gifts. We'll cover examples of gifts you shouldn't give on first dates, particularly ones I've seen other dating blogs recommend โŒ
  3. Good first date gifts. We'll cover examples of gifts that are OK for first dates, plus a few metaphoric "gifts" that are essential for attracting women ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Let's jump in ๐Ÿช‚


1. When first date gifts are appropriate

Man and woman sitting at table outside, smiling, on a date

As I touched on briefly a moment ago...

First date gifts for girls are rarely a good idea.


Two reasons:

  1. Bringing a gift to a first date can imply you're needy. Think about your emotional motivation for giving a woman a gift โ€” usually it's to impress her. This is needy, and virtually nothing turns women off more than neediness ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
  2. Gifts can make her feel uncomfortable. The human urge for reciprocity is well documented โ€” bringing her a gift on a first date can make her feel like she "owes you" for the gift, which creates icky discomfort ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

As a rule of thumb, save gifts (in the traditional sense of the word) for women you've established relationships with.

That is to say, you shouldn't think about buying a physical gift for a woman until you've been on multiple dates with her...

... and, in many cases, even had "the talk" about exclusivity ๐Ÿ’‘

The only scenarios where it's appropriate to give a woman a gift on a first date are when:

  1. The gift won't make you look needy โœ”๏ธ
  2. The gift won't make her uncomfortable โœ”๏ธ

Let's look at specific examples next.


2. Bad first date gifts

Woman looking into camera with distressed expression, seated at a table with a man, seemingly on a bad date

It's generally a bad look to bring a gift for a girl to a first date.

Here are specific examples of gifts to avoid, several of which I've seen recommended on other dating blogs (yikes!):

  • ๐Ÿ’โŒ Bouquet of flowers. Women love flowers, but only from men they already have a romantic connection with. A bouquet isn't the right play on a first date โ€” flowers are best delivered as a surprise, outside of a date, after she already likes you.
  • ๐ŸซโŒ Box of chocolates. Same idea as flowers: women love chocolates, but not from men they barely know. Chocolates or other treats are best saved for a surprise, outside of a date.
  • โŒ๐Ÿ’Ž Jewelry. Jewelry should be an obvious no-no, but I saw Google search results for "first date gifts" that suggested jewelry was appropriate, so I wanted to clarify. Nothing would make you look needier (and torch your chances of a relationship more) than to give a woman fancy jewelry before you're in a relationship together.

There are occasionally exceptions to these rules.

For example, either of the following might be OK gifts, even on a first date, particularly if you have a pre-existing relationship with the woman, or you have strong chemistry:

  • ๐ŸŒป Flowers you picked en route to your date. If you happened to walk by a patch of flowers on your way to wherever you're meeting your date, then picking one and giving it to your date when you arrive is a genuinely cute and thoughtful idea!
  • ๐Ÿช Cookie you baked. If you were coincidentally baking before your date, you can absolutely bring a fresh-baked cookie you made along with you.

But these are special exceptions... The only reason these gift ideas are OK is because they're small, spontaneous, and authentic โœ”๏ธ

If you deliberately bake cookies before a date for the purpose of impressing a woman, the spontaneity is gone, and the gesture won't work in your favor.

Always err on the side of not bringing a physical gift on a first date.


3. Good first date gifts

Man and woman smiling at each other seated at a table with coffee

I lied to you ๐Ÿ˜…

There are several "gifts" (metaphorically speaking) that are essential to give to a woman on a first date.

These gifts include:

  1. โฒ๏ธ The gift of punctuality. Women notice and appreciate men who are punctual (i.e. arrive at dates on time) for several reasons. First, being on time signals the date is a priority for you. Second, being on time signals you mean what you say. Third, being on-time (or better yet, early) prevents your date from awkwardly waiting alone when she arrives. Absolutely share the gift of punctuality with your first dates.
  2. ๐Ÿ‘‡ The gift of presence. I've heard it said that "presence is a present," and nowhere is that more true than on a first date. Some guys make the mistake of imagining a future together with a woman too soon; others make the mistake of fixating on past struggles or experiences; both are bad habits for dating! The point of a first date is to understand whether you enjoy spending time with someone here and now โ€” stay present to make this possible!
  3. ๐Ÿ’ต Paying for the date. As a man, you should always plan to pay for a first date. This is partially because it's tradition; partially because you invited the woman out with you, and not vice-versa. Unless she insists on splitting the bill, you should decline her offer to split it with you, too.

Paying for first dates (or buying women drinks) always stirs controversy when I mention it on Instagram or TikTok.

I don't necessarily disagree with the guys who argue it isn't "fair" that they have to pay ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

Here's the thing though:

If you expect to split the tab on first dates, you'll repel a lot of women.

Treat first dates as a gift, don't expect anything in return beyond good company, and you'll be on the right track!

Wrap up & next steps

Today we talked about first dates gifts, and learned:

  1. First date gifts are rarely appropriate at least in the traditional sense of the word "gift" ๐ŸŽ
  2. You should avoid gifts like flowers, chocolate, and jewelry because these things can make you look needy ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ
  3. Presence, punctuality, and picking up the tab are great "gifts" for first dates because they send the right message โœ”๏ธ

Want to nail your first date, but have more questions?

Here are a few other resources you may find helpful:

Also, don't miss out on these ideas to uplevel your dating life more generally๐Ÿ‘‡

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