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Just Moved? How To Find Dates In A New City

approaching women dating for introverts Apr 19, 2022
Man looking at his phone while walking in an urban setting

Moving to a new city can be overwhelming, especially if you’re moving alone.

You may be experiencing multiple life transitions at once: new job or school, new home, new routine, new friends, plus other changes that can naturally create stress...

Throw dating into the mix, and it's a lot to adjust to ðŸ¤¯ 

 Here are some tips for stepping outside of your comfort zone, and dating in a new city ðŸ‘‡



#1: Start Exploring 

Before you’ve settled into a routine, take time to explore your new city.

What historical landmarks should you see? Are there important museums or parks you could check out? ðŸ¤”

Man examining map

You may be wondering what this has to do with dating...

A lot, actually!

Your first few months in a new city present a rare opportunity to familiarize yourself with places to meet new people, or go on dates.

Explore local restaurants, interesting neighborhoods, trendy bars, and hip stores to get acquainted, and think to yourself:

Where are people I want to meet spending time?



#2: Don’t Be Afraid To Go Out Alone

Going out alone can feel weird, particularly for introverts...

But if you’re single, and haven’t made a steady group of friends yet...

Resist the urge to spend the night alone at home, or sitting silently at a bar scrolling through Instagram! ðŸ˜œ

Man looking at phone in bar

Put your phone away, go out on your own, and allow yourself to escape your comfort zone.

It can actually be easier to meet people when you go out alone, vs when you go out with friends.

Sure, hitting the town with 6 of your best guy friends can be fun...

But it gives you an excuse to not meet new people, because you're focused on having fun with the group 🤐

One important callout here: going out alone is a skill.

It will feel awkward if you're new to it.

But if you practice, you'll feel more comfortable on your own, and you'll also build comfort striking up conversations with strangers ðŸ—£ï¸

Remember, you have an amazing excuse to approach anyone you want (including that beautiful woman seated at the other side of the bar).

Just say something like:

"Hey, I'm new to town, and have never been here before. What should I order?"

☝️ Everybody loves to share recommendations, so take advantage of it!



#3: Lean Into Your Hobbies 

People playing sand volleyball in a park

As much as I'm enthusiastic about you stepping outside of your comfort zone...

Don't force yourself to do things you don’t like simply for the sake of meeting people!

For example if you don't like to drink, you shouldn't embark on solo bar crawls in hopes of meeting new friends (or women to ask on dates) ðŸ˜•

You want to meet people (and date women) who have similar interests as you.

So, make a list of you top five hobbies or things you love to do and find groups or activities in your new city.

  • 🧘🏻‍♂️ If you do love yoga… then a great way to meet likeminded new friends or potential partners is definitely to sign up for a class pass at your local yoga studio.

  • 📚 If you enjoy reading… check out if your local indie bookstore has book clubs.

  • 🥙 If you’re a foodie… look for local food tours or tastings in your city.

  • 🏃🏻‍♂️ If you’re into sports… get involved with local rec leagues or club teams.

Spending time connecting to others in your new city through your existing hobbies is one of the best ways to meet new people, and ground yourself!




#4: Make Platonic Friends

Man and two women talking around a fire pit

Feeling intimidated to immediately jump into dating?

Focus on making new friends, both male and female, instead. Building a social circle is a great way to meet quality romantic partners down the road, too ðŸ˜

Want a pro-tip to make friends fast?

Ask your existing friends and colleagues for introductions to anyone they new in your new city.

Connecting with friends of friends is an excellent way to embed yourself in your new city.

You'll learn about their favorite places, and who knows, maybe you'll actually form meaningful relationships with these people ðŸ˜Ž

Many of my best friends in Texas (where I moved in 2020) are people my friends from home introduced me to!



#5: Remember To Have Fun

Whenever you do start dating in your new city...

Don’t feel like you have to run the show!

It's OK to ask your date to take you to her favorite bars and restaurants ðŸ™‹‍♀️

Man and woman talking on a date

Playing tour guide is fun for most people, women included, and will enable your date to see a place she is familiar with with fresh eyes. 

Also, particularly if you don't have many friends in town yet...

Don't rush things romantically.

Some guys will make the mistake of building their entire social life around the first woman they meet when they move to a new city ðŸ˜¬

You'll be happier long term if you pace yourself!



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Xo Blaine

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