How to approach a girl at the gym, according to a womanJul 23, 2022
Ready to learn how to approach a girl at the gym?
I'm Blaine Anderson, and I'm a female dating coach for men. My advice reaches 3 million monthly on my Instagram and TikTok, and I've helped more than 1,000 men learn to authentically attract women they're excited about through my coaching.
Approaching a girl at the gym without being creepy is an area I have personal experience in... I literally met my husband at the gym!
Today, we'll cover how to meet a woman at the gym in three steps:
Let's dive in.
1. Respect her flow 🧘♀️
Imagine you're halfway through your workout, and you spot your gym crush doing crunches by the free weights...
Should you approach?
🙅♀️ Not yet.
How would you feel if a stranger interrupted you in the middle of a sprint, or when you’re setting a bench press PR?
You’d feel annoyed.
At the least, you’d be confused (“why is this weirdo bothering me?”)…
💡 Your crush doesn’t want to be interrupted in the middle of her workout.
In general, you should avoid approaching women on the gym floor entirely.
Even if your crush isn’t actively exercising, she may be in the zone, and unreceptive to interruptions.
Many women wear headphones while working out anyway.
Whether you’re at the gym or elsewhere, headphones in = do not disturb.
How do you circumvent this problem?
👉 Try chatting with her after your workouts instead.
Two great opportunities:
- At the smoothie bar. Try paying her a genuine compliment like, "Did I see you crushing it over at the squat rack today?" and maybe you even continue the conversation over your drinks 🥤
- Exiting the gym. For example, maybe as you're walking to your cars, you say something like, "Hey, I'm Blaine. I just wanted to say hello because I see you here often. What's your name?" 🚗
Want to increase the likelihood she wants to talk with you?
Start with light eye contact and a smile during your workouts.
Non-verbal connections are the foundation of an actual approach!
Her response (👉 does she smile back?) signals whether she’s receptive to chatting, and gives you an opening to start a conversation later.
👀 Just remember not to stare.
One eye contact + smile interaction is perfect. More than that can creep her out.
2. Take it slow 🐌
OK, let's say you've finally worked up the courage to approach your gym crush, and the perfect opportunity presents itself...
You're walking out of the gym at the same time 🔥
Should you ask her out?!
🙅♀️ Not yet.
The gym is a special place for most women.
Particularly if you’ve seen your crush at the gym (or the yoga studio, or any other fitness class you attend together...) often enough to develop a crush, she probably visits regularly.
The last thing she wants is to start feeling uncomfortable about visiting the space because she gets unwanted attention in the parking lot 😒
👋 Instead of asking her out, simply introduce yourself.
Have a friendly conversation, enthusiastically say, "I'll look forward to bumping into you again sometime!" and walk to your car.
Even if you form a fun and flirty connection the first time you chat, you’ll increase your likelihood of successfully sparking romance if you WAIT to ask for her number until a second or third conversation.
Showing restraint asking for her number shows makes you more attractive to her because it signals:
- You’re not needy. Framed another way, you're not cruising to the gym to desperately shoot your shot at any woman who will chat with you 🥵
- You're socially intelligent. You understand there’s heightened risk from dating someone you meet at a location you frequent (whether it’s the gym, your workplace, or anywhere else you’ll still have to see each other if things go south) 🧠
Still need help breaking the ice?
You don't need to say anything fancy. Here are two more strategies you can try:
- If you made eye contact on the floor... Mention it! This is how my now-husband approached me. Just say something like “Hey, I think we made eye contact on the floor earlier, and I just wanted to say hello…” 👀
- If you attended a class together... Ask her what she thought of the workout. Say something like “What'd you think of that class? Those deadlifts kicked my ass...” 🏋️♀️
Incidentally, group fitness classes tend to be easier places to meet women than the gym, because usually there's some socializing baked in (e.g. meeting your neighbor before class). I met my husband at Barry's Bootcamp!
3. Follow the one strike rule ⚾
Ever heard of the “one strike” rule?
It's a policy that many tech companies like Facebook and Google have adopted for workplace romance, and it's as relevant to approaching a girl at the gym as it is to approaching a coworker, so listen up 👂
The essence is that you get ONE chance to ask your crush out.
If she doesn’t clearly reciprocate your interest, it's game over.
You don't get two more "strikes" to approach her again ⚾
Also, note that the standard here is clearly reciprocate!
If you ask your crush out and she says something like "I'm really busy right now..." or she otherwise makes an excuse for not giving you her number...
She actually means “no” and you should let it go.
Likewise, if she’s not enthusiastically engaging in conversation with you before you ask her out, don't ask her out!
Whether you’re approaching a woman at the gym, a bar, or a party, look for signs she's interested (for example, these six signs she is flirting with you) 🥰
Two last thoughts here:
- Regardless of how attracted you are to women in spandex... Many women don’t feel their sexiest during or after a workout. So while there’s no special stigma about meeting a romantic partner at the gym, be aware that some women may be unreceptive there, no matter how charming you are (or at the least, they may be surprised you’re engaging with them) 🙋♀️
- If a woman seems uncomfortable chatting with you at the gym... It’s more likely because you approached in a weird or creepy way, not because she’s inherently uncomfortable meeting men at the gym 😦
Want a word for the wise?
Don’t hit on her, particularly the first time you chat.
Your vibe, and your conversational goals, should be friendly until you’ve built some rapport.
Worried the gym isn't your place?
Check out my guide how to meet women for nine more suggestions on where to meet women 📍
How To Approach A Girl At The Gym - Next Steps
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