How to turn a girl on
The 8 best ways, from a woman
By Blaine Anderson
Last updated Nov 25, 2022
5 minute read
Ready to create more sexual chemistry with a woman you're seeing? 🌶️
These are my 8 favorite ways to turn a girl on:
- Hold eye contact
- Playfully tease her
- Create tension
- Share a fantasy
- Touch her
- Kiss her
- Give her a massage
- Cuddle her
Heads up, these moves entail different levels of intimacy 💏
Not sure if she'd be comfortable with something here? Skip it!
Now without further ado...
1. Hold eye contact
Yeah, this one sounds basic, but so many guys screw it up...
Strong eye contact is hot.
Look into her eyes, and hold eye contact a couple seconds longer than normal 👀⏳
She'll probably smile, and she might look away, or ask you "what?!"
This is your cue to pay her a genuine compliment, like:
🗣️ You're stunning
🗣️ I just think you're really beautiful
🗣️ You look so sexy right now
... Then watch her melt!
Little intimate moments like this turn her on, and it's your job to create them.
2. Playfully tease her
Playful teasing can be a major turn-on for women.
Not sure how to tease her?
The simplest one-line tease you can try is:
🗣️ You're trouble.
You don't need to say anything else!
Just float this out with your most seductive smile, and let it sit, and it will turn her on.
Want to try something slightly more advanced?
Tease her about how good she looks in her outfit. For example:
🗣️ That little black dress is pretty seductive...
She might respond by asking if you like it, or even wondering aloud if she wore the wrong thing...
You should then pay her a genuine compliment like:
🗣️ I can't take my eyes off it, and I want it all to myself...
Check out my article How to tease a girl - Flirty text examples for dozens more ideas you can try!
3. Create tension
Tension is sexy, because it creates anticipation, and requires restraint.
If you want to turn a girl on, try creating tension with a line like:
🗣️ You’re not ready for what I’m gonna do to you later...
🗣️ You can't even imagine what I'm going to do to you later...
Obviously there are strong sexual overtones to both of these lines, so only use them if you're sure your crush is comfortable with the physical intimacy they imply!
There are tons of less sexual ways to turn women on with tension, by the way.
The key is just to spark curiosity, excitement, and temptation.
For example, you can plan a romantic surprise date for someone you're seeing, and *hint* that she has something to look forward to via text without revealing specifics:
📲💬 Meet me at 6pm at my place tomorrow. Wear something nice, and look forward to a fun evening ;)
She may pry for details. Maintain tension by making her wait:
📲💬 You'll just have to wait to find out ;)
Well-executed surprises can be a major turn on, so try this out!
4. Share a fantasy
We just covered how you can turn women on by making them wonder what will happen, and not spelling it out for them word for word...
You can turn women on by doing the exact opposite, too!
Sharing a fantasy, which entails describing what you want to happen in vivid detail, can be a major turn-on for women.
To keep this PG here are a few ideas that you'll need to complete yourself:
🗣️ As soon as I get you home, I want to ...
🗣️ I'm already thinking about how I'm going to slip you out of that dress, and ...
🗣️ I thought it was so hot when you got on top of me on the couch, and...
It should go without saying, but these examples are sexually charged.
Be thoughtful about whether it's appropriate to share them!
If you've done the things you're fantasizing about with the woman you're talking to, it's probably OK, and hearing your fantasies in detail will probably turn her on 🥰
5. Touch her
Touch can do wonders for our emotional and physical health. This overview of scientifically how and why touch is beneficial from Berkeley Psychology professor Dacher Keltner is excellent if you're curious to learn more.
Touch can also be a turn-on for women!
If you're comfortable with initiating touch, and you want to turn your partner on, try:
👉 Putting your arms around her lower back, and pulling her in toward you
👉 Putting your hand on her leg when you're seated next to each other
👉 Resting your hand on hers, and lightly stroking your finger back and forth
All three moves, particularly when coupled with gentle stroke, can quickly create arousing experiences.
Less experienced with touch?
If you're worried it could be inappropriate or creepy to initiate touch, try two things:
- Gently test the waters by touching her hand, elbow, or arm. These are non-invasive places that are usually safe to try on a first date. Just pay attention to how she reacts to understand if she likes being touched, or not.
- When in doubt, ask. It’s wise, not weird, to get consent to touch a woman if you're not sure she'd like it. This is as simple as saying "Can I put my arm around you?"
6. Kiss her
You've heard the song, and it's true:
🎼 One kiss is all it takes...
To turn a woman you're seeing on, give her a kiss!
Kissing is romantic, and serves as the main gateway to more intimate physical activities 😉
A great kiss can be a destination in itself, too, of course.
Many women will reminisce about their favorite kiss as fondly as their favorite memory of any other romantic physical experience.
Still, especially if your main objective is more like 👉👌 than 💏...
Don't rush the kiss.
Last year, I surveyed more than 1,000 American women ages 21 to 35 to ask what they wanted more of in the bedroom.
Dozens of responses were literally just "kissing," and hundreds of other responses like "more foreplay" (10% of women) implied the involvement of kissing.
In short, kissing is a powerful turn-on for women.
- Don't overthink the kiss (e.g. worry about whether you should use tongue)
- Do what feels natural, get feedback from your partner, and have fun!
7. Give her a massage
One of the most powerful ways to turn a girl on is to give her a massage.
I'm not exactly qualified to give advice on how to massage someone (I'm a dating coach, not a masseuse!) but thankfully you don't need to do anything too complicated 💆♀️
To turn a woman on with a massage, keep it simple:
- Sit behind her, ideally a few feet above (e.g. you're on a couch, and she's on the floor) so her head is roughly lap-level for you
- Rub her shoulders, upper back, and neck using your thumbs to apply light pressure
- Run your fingers through her hair too (scalp massages are a favorite for many people)
- Listen to her feedback on what motion (and how much pressure) feels good
Foot massages can also be a major turn on! Ask your partner what she'd like, and practice.
8. Cuddle her
Cuddling may seem innocent, but...
Good cuddles can turn women on, too!
Not sure where to start?
If you're sitting on a couch together, you can put your arm around her, and let her lean into you.
You can also invite her to sit on your lap!
Alternatively, you can ask if she wants to spoon, like if you were in bed together. If she says yes, just lie behind her, with your bodies in full contact like two nested spoons 🥄🥄
If you're already in bed with a woman you're romantically involved with (e.g. you're about to go to sleep), try wrapping your arms her, and spooning her from behind.
Want to ignite things further?
Introduce gentle motion between your bodies.
If it feels good for you, there's a good chance it feels good for her too 😏
Wrap up & next steps
Now that you know how to turn a woman on...
Want my help landing a partner you're excited to get frisky with?!
Three ideas for you 👇
Idea #1: Follow me on Instagram
I share dating tips and silly content about my personal life on my Instagram every single day.
Idea #2: Unlock my FREE guides
I'd love to share my best FREE dating guides with you:
- 📲 What I Swipe Right On (how to improve your matches on apps like Hinge fast)
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