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How to tease a girl


Flirty text examples

Small circular headshot of Blaine smiling, gazing off to the leftBy Blaine Anderson
Last updated Nov 23, 2022
8 minute read

Want to create more sexual chemistry with your crush or girlfriend?

You're in the right place!

Today we'll cover how to tease a girl, which is one of the best ways to flirt, plus lots of examples 🥰

Read on, or tap below to skip ahead!

  1. Why you should tease and flirt
  2. Rules for teasing appropriately
  3. Teasing example: Give her a nickname
  4. Teasing example: Lightly stereotype her
  5. Teasing example: Mock something she says
  6. Teasing example: Suggest she has questionable taste
  7. Teasing example: Suggest she's coming onto you
  8. Teasing example: Joke that things can't work out
  9. Teasing example: Initiate a challenge

 

Blaine in red outfit, walking outside away from the camera, looking back and smiling

By the way, if we haven't met...

I'm Blaine, and I'm a dating coach for men!

My advice on InstagramTikTok, and YouTube reaches 2+ million men every month, and I've been featured in the NYPost, Forbes, Vice i-D, Cosmo, and more.


 

Now without further ado...

 1. Why you should tease and flirt

a girl leaning to a glass door, smiling while texting

If you've ever watched Nature or the Discovery Channel, you probably know that males across many species display "courtship behaviors" to attract female partners...

I mention this to remind you:

  • Flirting is an essential reproductive skill. Female partners use "courtship behaviors" (aka flirting) to decide who to pair off with.
  • For most species, flirting is overt. You're probably familiar with the term "peacocking" for this reason 🦚
  • For humans, flirting is covert. Research, like this paper on covert sexual signaling, suggests this is due to the variable "risks" associated with flirting in "particular social configurations."

Wondering what the heck this means for you?

Well, a few things:

  1. You need to flirt to land a partner. How else will women know you're interested, or differentiate you from other suitors?!
  2. Undisguised flirting is a turn-off. This is why boasting about your expensive watch (or your sexual prowess) in most bars will get you more eye rolls than phone numbers.
  3. Subtle flirting, like teasing, is a turn-on. It's actually a good thing if a woman wonders, "is he flirting with me?" when you first start communicating.

Knowing how to tease is particularly valuable for this reason.

Teasing is subtle, playful, and fun — and when done appropriately, it's unlikely to land you in hot water, no matter what "social configuration" you find yourself in.

🔑 The key is just to know how to tease appropriately, which we'll cover next!

2. Rules for teasing appropriately

A boy wearing a hat and a short haired girl, both laughing together

Teasing a woman can be tricky because:

  • On one hand, teasing means deliberately "rocking the boat" conversationally to elicit an emotional reaction â›µ 
  • On the other hand, it's easy to go overboard, and elicit the wrong emotional reaction ðŸ¥¶

To avoid going overboard, the #1 thing to remember is...

When you tease a woman, she should feel good.

Everything else you need to know about teasing appropriately flows from this basic principle.

Specifically, consider your:

  • Expressions. Are you smiling, or do you look grumpy? Smiling = good, almost everything else = bad.
  • Tone. Do you sound playful, or critical? Playful = good, critical = bad.
  • Intentions. Are you trying to show her you like her, or are you trying to put her down? Intending to demonstrate interest = good, intending to put her down or "neg" her = bad. 
  • Subject matter. Are you teasing her about something she's comfortable with, or sensitive about? Comfortable = good, sensitive = bad.

No matter how thoughtful you are about these things, it's impossible to be 100% certain women will react positively when you tease them:

  • Different women may react to the same message in different ways ðŸ¤·‍♀️
  • Tone is particularly challenging when you tease via text ðŸ“²
  • Some risk is inherent in teasing, whether you're texting or chatting in-person 😅

Still, as long as you're willing to backpedal if a woman misinterprets something you say, you'll be OK.

Let's dive into examples!

3. Teasing example: Give her a nickname

A pretty girl of Indian descent in what looks like an upscale restaurant, touching her hair, looking into the camera

You may be familiar with how using someone's real name is a powerful technique for creating social connections.

(Using someone's name makes them feel important, and shows you care enough to remember!)

Giving your crush a nickname can have a similar psychological effect, plus it can be a flirty way to create chemistry.

Better yet...

Nicknames are perhaps the easiest way to get started teasing!

To choose a nickname for your crush, leverage contextual clues (e.g. is she wearing or doing something unique?) and even things she tells you.

For example:

If she's wearing cowboy boots...
🗣️ NICKNAME HER 'COWGIRL' ðŸ®

If she went to Harvard Law School...
🗣️ NICKNAME HER 'HARVARD' OR 'ELLE WOODS' 🎓

If she's from New Jersey...
🗣️ NICKNAME HER 'JERSEY' ðŸ“

Just don't go overboard.

Using the nickname you've bestowed upon your crush 1-2x in a conversation can be playful and fun. Using the nickname every single time you address her can be annoying.

4. Teasing example: Lightly stereotype her

A man and a woman seated at a table outdoors, both wearing sunglasses, laughing and enjoying a joke together

The word "stereotype" has negative connotations in certain contexts for good reasons, but when it comes to teasing and flirting...

Lightly stereotyping can be an effective way to create romantic chemistry!

Let's say a girl tells you she's from New Jersey. You could try teasing her about New Jersey stereotypes, for example:

🗣️ ASK HER:
How's your friend Snooki doing?

🗣️ OR, TELL HER:
Let me guess, your dad works in "Waste Management." I'd better buy you a drink before I get whacked!

Just remember to avoid stereotypes that are widely perceived to be negative. To continue with the New Jersey example, the following might result in your getting slapped in the face:

🗣️ YOU SAY:
I should've guessed based on your heavy fake tan, and mall jewelry.

In short, be positive and playful when teasing, especially about stereotypes.

5. Teasing example: Mock something she says

A girl putting her legs in the guys lap while touching his beard, both laughing

If you mock someone, you're imitating them for comedic effect. Watch this YouTube clip on mocking if you need an example!

Mocking is an easy way to tease, and attract, a girl you like.

Just make sure your intentions are playful and loving, and the woman you're communicating with says something that warrants mocking.

For example, let's say you're chatting with your crush in-person.

🗣️ SHE SAYS:
I'm so tired after being out so late at that party last night...

You could tease her about her indulgent lifestyle by mocking her — simply repeat the exact same phrase back to her, in a higher-than-usual tone.

Just be sure to smile. This tells the woman you're teasing that you're being playful, not cruel.

Mocking is also an easy way to tease a girl over text.

Let's say a girl you're seeing texts you something bratty like:

📲💬 HER TEXT:
I only want to order pizza if we get pineapple!!!

You could mock her by spitting the same words back to her, formatted like this:

📲💬 YOUR RESPONSE:
I OnLY waNT to ORdEr PiZzA iF WE gEt piNEApPLe!!! ðŸ¥´

Note that the formatting of the text matters. By capitalizing random letters, and adding an emoji like "🥴" (or "😏") at the end, you convey that you're being playful!

6. Teasing example: Suggest she has questionable taste

A girl in a pink sweater, holding her phone and chin, smiling

Chatting with a girl you like who has some unconventional preferences?

Or, just want to give your crush a little shit about something quirky that she loves?

Tease her by playfully suggesting she has questionable taste!

For example, let's say she loves Cooler Ranch flavor Doritos (if you're not in the U.S. these are a popular tortilla chip)...

🗣️ YOU COULD SAY:
C'mon, everyone knows the best flavor is Nacho Cheesier...

🗣️ IF YOU WANT TO BE MORE AGGRESSIVE, SAY:
Eww, you like Cooler Ranch?!

Or, let's say she plays the Backstreet Boys on your drive to the beach...

🗣️ YOU COULD SAY SARCASTICALLY:
Backstreet Boys?! I didn't realize you had such a refined taste in music...

Just remember that your goal is to *tease* girls, not put them down.

Coaches who want you to "neg" girls are idiots, and "negging" will turn women who respect themselves.

7. Example: Suggest she's coming onto you

Man in long sleeve white shirt seated at a coffee table with a woman, in grey shirt, both sipping coffee and laughing

In my opinion, the single best way to tease a girl you like is to suggest she's coming onto you.

As long as it's true (i.e. she likes you, and is indeed coming onto you — check out these signs she's sexually attracted to you if you're not sure!) suggesting as much is an insanely effective tease because:

  • There's no risk she'll interpret it negatively unlike several of the other teases we've discussed already
  • It tends to escalate things romantically, e.g. you can say it before inviting a woman back to your place

To try this tease out, wait for a moment where she says or does something flirty, then with your best coy smile...

🗣️ TRY SAYING:
Are you flirting with me?

🗣️ OR, SAY:
Are you coming on to me?

🗣️ OR, A THIRD OPTION:
What I'm hearing is that you have a massive crush on me...

If you want to tease her over text, just add a winky face after the line, for example:

📲💬 HER TEXT:
You look so handsome in that suit mister ðŸ¥°

📲💬 YOUR REPLY:
Are you coming on to me? ðŸ˜‰

Try this tease out, and have fun with it!

Just remember that it won't land unless she indeed likes you, or she's actually flirting with you.

8. Example: Joke that things can't work out

A girl wearing a dress looking at the boy wearing a white polo in a distance

Another excellent tease is to suggest that things can't work out between you and your crush.

As long as she knows you're being playful, this is a good one. There are a lot of different angles you can take it in, too.

For example, if you matched on a dating app, and she has a photo at a Mets game, but you're a Yankees fan...

📲💬 YOU MIGHT MESSAGE:
Yikes, Mets fan... idk if it's going to work out ðŸ˜‰

Or, let's say you're from a small town in the midwest, and she mentions via text that she grew up in NYC:

📲💬 YOU MIGHT TEXT HER:
City girl huh... My mom warned me to stay away from you ðŸ˜‰

As with all of the examples we've looked at today, assuming you're messaging or texting the woman you're teasing, adding an emoji that signals sarcasm (e.g. ðŸ˜œ or 😉) is important!

9. Example: Initiate a challenge

A girl holding a phone looks very happy and a guy holding a phone looks surprised

As the saying goes, "a little competition never hurt anyone," and this is especially true when it comes to teasing and flirting.

For example, if you and your crush are having beers at a bar...

🗣️ YOU MIGHT SAY:
Last one to finish is a rotten egg!

... Then start chugging.

Alternatively, maybe you and a girl you've been seeing both play Wordle when you wake up, and you want to introduce a spicy competitive element to your morning routine:

📲💬 YOU MIGHT TEXT HER:
Whoever gets today's Wordle first gets to call the shots when we're back at my place later ðŸ˜ˆ

This last one's pretty sexual, so be thoughtful about when you use it!

Wrap up & next steps

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Now that you know how to tease and be playful...

Want my help landing a girlfriend to be playful with?!

Three ideas for you ðŸ‘‡

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Just tell me where to send them here!

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