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Signs a woman is sexually attracted to you


Small circular headshot of Blaine smiling, gazing off to the leftBy Blaine Anderson
Last updated Nov 25, 2022
10 minute read

Knowing if a woman feels sexually attracted to you can be tricky.

Women don't always know when they feel sexually aroused themselves, according to sexual concordance research!

For this reason, or thanks to societal norms, or both:

  • Women are often coy when signaling sexual attraction ðŸ¤«
  • This leaves many guys guessing ðŸ¤”
  • Everyone has less physical fun than they might enjoy ðŸ˜œ

Thankfully, there are 10 subtle signs women use to signal their sexual attraction:

  1. She physically moves close to you
  2. She can’t take her eyes off you
  3. She makes herself available to you
  4. She smiles and is happy around you
  5. She playfully teases you
  6. She’s touchy with you
  7. She touches herself around you
  8. She sends you photos of herself
  9. She dresses up for you
  10. She wants to see your place 

So you don't have to wonder whether your crush or girlfriend is feeling frisky, we'll cover each below!


 

Blaine in red outfit, walking outside away from the camera, looking back and smiling

By the way, if we haven't met...

I'm Blaine, and I'm a dating coach for men!

My advice on InstagramTikTok, and YouTube reaches 2+ million men every month, and I've been featured in the NYPost, Forbes, Vice i-D, Cosmo, and more.


 

Now without further ado...

1. She physically moves close to you

A man and a woman having a fun date in a cafe

Did you know that there's an entire field of study devoted to the amount of space people set between themselves and others?

It's called proxemics, and the key callout is that people in western cultures tend to think about the space around ourselves in four "zones":

  1. The public zone (>12' distance) which is typically where we position ourselves with respect to total strangers in public (e.g. at the park)
  2. The social zone (4' - 12' distance) which is typically where we position ourselves with respect to strangers we're interacting with (e.g. talking with the Amazon delivery guy)
  3. The personal zone (1.5' - 4' distance) which is where we typically position ourselves with respect to people we're friendly with (e.g. chatting with a colleague)
  4. The intimate zone (<1.5' distance) which is where we typically position ourselves with respect to people we're romantically involved with

(Curious to learn more? Check out this Proxemics 101 article from the MIT Press!)

Anyway, if a woman you're flirting with moves into your intimate zone, there's a good chance she's sexually attracted to you.

Think about it. She's placing you into her intimate zone by scooting into yours...

Which signals she feels comfortable with you physically, and wants to be close enough she can touch you...

This is almost always a good sign 🥰

There are of course exceptions!

That is to say, just because a woman enters your intimate zone, you can't be certain she wants to have sex with you. She may be just be a stranger seated next to you on a plane for example 😉✈️

Stepping back here...

Signs in isolation seldom mean much.

But, the more signs you see, and the more the signs make sense in the broader context of your relationship with a woman, the more likely she's actually sexually attracted to you.

And, as far as individual signs go, a woman moving close to you, particularly <18" inches away, is a potent one ðŸŒ¶ï¸

2. She can’t take her eyes off you

A girl looking away from her laptop and staring at someone

You're in a coffee shop, and a cutie walks in. She's in her workout outfit, her hair is pulled back, and she looks good ðŸ‘€

Know how it's hard to not look when you're sexually attracted to a woman?

Women feel the same way!

If a woman repeatedly looks over at you, it's often a sign she's sexually attracted to you.

Body language expert Monica Moore's courtship research found that women will often gaze across a room to capture a man's attention, and women often make repeated eye contact with a man to signal that he should approach.

It should go without saying that even if she's staring at you, it doesn't necessarily mean she's trying to hop in the sack.

For example, a woman might have difficulty taking her eyes off you if you spill something gross on your shirt ðŸ˜…

But particularly in conjunction with other signs, repeated and protracted eye contact can indicate strong sexual interest and chemistry.

One more eye sign to keep an eye out for: dilated pupils.

Especially if you're close enough to her to notice her pupils are enlarged, there's a good chance she's sexually attracted to you ðŸ”¥

3. She makes herself available to you

a girl holding a bottle of water while jogging

Know how when someone you want to spend more time with asks if you have weekend plans, you might unintentionally blurt out:

🗣️ I'm around!

... Even if you have 100 things on your calendar already?

Women are the same way.

If a girl is sexually attracted to you, she'll make herself available to you!

Availability can manifest in a variety of ways, for example:

  • She might say "no real plans" if you ask her about her weekend...
  • She might even proactively ask if you have plans...
  • She's generally receptive when you ask to spend time with her...

I often talk about how effort = interest, so the last point is particularly important. If a woman isn't receptive to making plans to see you in-person (e.g. she's evasive when you try to schedule dates), she's not attracted to you, sexually or otherwise, and you should cut bait.

4. She smiles and is happy around you

A girl wearing a green top, leaning to a fence happy

This one's pretty intuitive...

  • Women tend to have positive emotions about arousal
  • Women tend to have positive emotions about men they like 

So the better her mood is around you, the more likely she feels sexual chemistry!

Two specific signs to keep an eye out for:

  1. Her smile. Does she smile a lot when she's around you? If yes, is she just trying to be nice, or is she genuinely happy to see you? A real smile is a universal symbol of pleasure, and the more her full face is involved in her smile (e.g. her eyes narrow), the more genuine her smile is ðŸ˜ƒ
  2. Her laugh. If a woman laughs at your jokes, it signals that you share a sense of humor, and that she likes you. Both of these things bode well for your sexual prospects ðŸ˜

5. She playfully teases you

A gilr leaning towards a pillow, holding a phone

Teasing is one of my favorite ways to flirt.

If a woman feels comfortable playfully teasing you, it often mean she feels sexual attraction.

Why?

  • Before you'll tease someone, you need to feel comfortable and close to them.
  • Teasing is deliberately provocative, and is designed to initiate further interaction.

For example, if you compliment a girl you're seeing on her outfit, and...

🗣️ SHE SAYS, PLAYFULLY:
You would like that, wouldn't you?

Or, maybe you sense some chemistry between you and a colleague, and the next time you're chatting about a project...

🗣️ SHE SAYS, PLAYFULLY:
Aren't you Mr. Smarty Pants?

She's flirting, and probably sexually attracted to you!

Check out my article on how to tease a girl for dozens more examples.

Then, if you notice a woman is playfully teasing you, you'll be ready to both tease her back, and escalate things appropriately ðŸ˜

6. She’s touchy with you

A girl putting her legs in the guys lap while touching his beard, both laughing

We already talked about how, if a woman you're chatting with feels comfortable standing close to you (and specifically if she enters your "intimate zone")...

There's a good chance she feels sexually attracted to you âš¡

If she touches you, too, that's an even better sign!

When woman puts her hand on your leg, arm, or face, it's often a deliberate strategy to initiate a closer physical connection, and escalate things romantically.

Plus, physical touch is an essential component of foreplay and sex...

If she initiates touch, try rolling with it, touching her back, and escalating things together.

Obviously, the situation and environment matters here. If your flirty colleague touches your hand when she laughs at a joke you told, and you're together in the office:

  • This is indeed a sign she's sexually attracted to you!
  • This is not a sign that you should immediately strip off your clothes, and get to it.

Basically, it's reasonable to associate touch with sexuality, but use common sense, and escalate appropriately ðŸ˜Ž

7. She touches herself around you

A woman in pink sweater, smiling while she's at her phone

Did you know that women are more sensitive to physical touch than men?

According to a famous JNeurosci study on touch, because women are smaller than men, women have more nerve endings per unit of skin surface area, which makes them more sensitive to physical touch!

With this in mind...

If a woman touches herself when you're together, it's often because she's sexually attracted to you.

For example, if she strokes her own wrist, thigh, or neck, she may be both:

  • Imagining what it would feel like for you to touch her there ðŸ’­
  • Signaling she wants you to touch her there, too ðŸ™‹‍♀️

If a woman fondles a personal object (particularly a handbag, or a cylindrical object like a wine glass stem), this can also be revealing of secret or subconscious sexual fantasies!

8. She sends you photos of herself

A girl leaning to a glass door, smiling while she's at her phone

There's a strong chance a woman is sexually attracted to you if she sends you selfies, or other photos of herself.

Women and men both may share photos as a courtship behavior!

This is because photos can help us:

  • Stay top of mind (the psychology here is something like: "Just in case you forgot about me...")
  • Stoke a flame (the psychology here is something like: "I think I look cute, and I want you to think so, too...")
  • Create sexual tension (the psychology here is something like: "You can look, but you can't touch...")

On the other hand, I have seen studies that suggest sharing photos, selfies specifically, is linked to lower-quality relationships.

I wouldn't necessarily sweat this, though:

  • Most of these studies examine the public sharing of photos (e.g. posting a selfie on Instagram)
  • Many of these studies' subjects are college students, whose behaviors are notoriously unpredictable (and may be very different from your own!)

However, if you're seeing a woman who's publicly broadcasting "thirst traps" on social media, there's a good chance she's seeking attention from more than just you!

9. She dresses up for you

A girl in jumpsuit and army green coat

Know how you try to look sharp when you're meeting a woman you're attracted to?

(And you'll feel awkward if you bump into her when you're wearing old gym clothes...)

Similarly, women will dress things up when they're sexually attracted to a man!

Specifically:

  • She may wear a unique outfit, even one that isn't revealing or particularly sexy, so much as it's striking...
  • She may accessorize, for example she may wear heels or bring along a colorful clutch, so that she stands out...
  • She may groom specially, for example she might get a blowout, or do up her makeup, or wear an alluring perfume...

In short, the more she attempts to draw attention to appearance (and preparation of it) when she's around you, the more likely she is to be sexually attracted to you ðŸ¥°

10. She wants to see your place

A girl smiling while she's holding her camera

If a girl wants to come see your place, or go home with you...

You probably don't need me to explain why it's a sign she's sexually attracted to you ðŸ˜‰

Still, two thoughts that might be worth considering:

  1. She may want to evaluate, not initiate. That is to say, the first time she visits your home, it may be more to see how you live (e.g. "Is it clean? Is it nice? He doesn't live with his parents, does he?") than to fool around.
  2. Even if it's to initiate, that doesn't necessarily mean sex. When a woman accepts an invitation to your home, even if it's 1:00AM on a Saturday after you've made out at a bar, it's reasonable to assume she's sexually attracted to you, and interested in more than just a tour. Still, she may just want to kiss in private, so always ask for consent!

Wrap up & next steps

Photo of Blaine in navy outfit, seated at a table, smiling and waving while looking into her computer

I hope this overview of the signs a woman is sexually attracted to you was helpful ðŸ™‹‍♀️

The most important things to remember are:

  • These signs mean little in isolation. We touched on this earlier, but just to drive the point home... Your realtor will want to see your place for reasons that have nothing to do with romance or sex. Look for clusters of signs together, and think of the forest versus the trees (i.e. context matters!)
  • Ask if you're unsure. Consent doesn't have to be unsexy. It's clumsy to ask a woman you barely know point-blank, "Are you sexually attracted to me?" but it can hot if, during a tender moment with someone you're seeing, you say something like, "I'm really attracted to you. Can I {XYZ}?"

Anyway, now that you're familiar with the signs...

Here are three ideas to help you find a partner who displays them ðŸ˜œðŸ‘‡

Idea #1: Follow me on Instagram

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Photo of Blaine in black dress with red print, reclining on a futon, smiling into the camera

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Just tell me where to send them here!

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Idea #3: Read more articles