How to Meet Women - My Dating Guide for Smart GuysJul 17, 2022
Ready to learn how to meet women?
I'm Blaine Anderson, and I'm a dating coach for men. My advice reaches 3 million monthly on my Instagram and TikTok, and I've helped more than 1,000 men learn to authentically attract women they're excited about through my coaching. I can't wait to help you!
Today, I'll share 10 proven strategies for meeting women:
- Group fitness classes 🧘
- Coffee shops ☕
- Volunteer activities 🙋
- Dog parks 🐕
- Foreign language classes 🧑🏫
- Rec sports leagues 🏐
- Restaurants 🍝
- Dance classes 💃
- Online (e.g. dating apps like Bumble) 📲
- Through work 💼
- Through friends 🤝
Let's dive in!
1. Group fitness classes 🧘
Group fitness classes like yoga, spin, and CrossFit are phenomenal places to meet women because:
- They attract like-minded people, who share interests in health and fitness 💪
- There are often opportunities to chat with the other people attending before, after, and even during class 🗣️
- They get your endorphins going, and help you stay in shape, which can't hurt you in the dating pool 💦
Don't believe me about group fitness classes?
I met my husband at a Barry's Bootcamp class in San Francisco in 2019!
Here's how he did it:
- We met because he briefly introduced himself to me after class once
- We barely chatted that first time, but whenever we'd see each other at Barry's thereafter, we'd have a pleasant conversation
- After we'd gotten to know each other a bit, he invited me to his housewarming party
- I was traveling and couldn't go, so we swapped numbers, and got juice 1x1
- The rest is history!
You can follow this exact pattern if you want to learn how to meet women in a group fitness environment.
Wondering how to meet a girl at your gym?
Meeting women at the gym is different than meeting women at group fitness classes, because there are fewer opportunities for socializing baked in.
Check out my guide how to approach a girl at the gym to learn more.
2. Coffee shops ☕
Coffee shops can be great places to meet women, especially in this increasingly remote-work friendly world.
Spot a cutie in front of you in line, or at a table nearby?
Here are three ways to stir conversation:
- 🌞 If you're there daily... Literally just introduce yourself, by saying something like "I'm Blaine, and I basically live at this table! I haven't seen you here before — are you new to the neighborhood?"
- 🤓 If she's reading or working on something familiar... Wait until you wouldn't be distracting her, then ask a contextual question like, "Is that Empire Falls by Richard Russo? I've always wanted to read that — how is it?" or "I couldn't help but notice you're working in a spreadsheet — I've spent way too much time in those — how's the model coming?"
- 😳 If she orders a strong coffee... Try teasing her! "Wow, triple espresso — big day ahead, or big night in the rearview?"
On this note...
Wondering if it's OK to approach your barista or bartender?
It can be! Get to know her first, over multiple visits.
If there's a real connection, try asking her to get a coffee or drink someone else has to pour 😉
Just remember that people in the service industry make their living by being friendly to you.
- You should have reason to believe your barista or bartender likes you, beyond just that she's friendly, before you ask her out
- If you ask, treat anything short of an enthusiastic "yes!" as a "no thanks"
3. Volunteer activities 🙋
Volunteer activities can be amazing ways to meet women, especially women who are caring and civic-minded.
Want to get started volunteering and meeting people?
Check out volunteer sites like VolunteerMatch, or try Googling for volunteer activities based on your interests. For example, you can search:
- "Volunteer planting trees" 🌳
- "Volunteer serving meals" / "volunteer food bank" 🥫
- "Volunteer building homes" 🏠
Churches and other places of worship often organize volunteer activities, and they can be another way to meet like-minded people (single women included!)
Just remember that the right mindset is essential.
- ❌ If you're only volunteering to meet and hit on women... it's going to be painfully obvious, and turn women off.
- ✅ If you're volunteering to do good, and maybe meet someone new in the process... you're much more likely to form the connections you're seeking!
4. Dog parks 🐕
If you have a dog, it can be a huge asset in your dating life!
Dog parks, and parks generally, are natural places to meet women.
The next time you're out with your pup, if you spot a cutie with hers, meeting her can be as simple as saying something like:
- 😍 "Your dog is adorable! What's her name?"
- 🐶 "Is that a Maltese? He's so friendly. How old is he?"
- 👋 "I see you and your dog here all the time, but I don't think we've met. I'm Blaine and this is my pup Dee Dee, what are yours?"
Conversation about your dogs should flow easily from there!
5. Foreign language classes 🧑🏫
Remember how many girls you met in school growing up, simply because you showed up?
This is exactly why foreign language classes are great ways to meet women!
You definitely shouldn't enroll in a foreign language program strictly for the purpose of meeting girls 🙄
But if you've been thinking about learning a language already...
You'll quickly find yourself conversing with like-minded women if you enroll in a beginner class.
Foreign language classes can also inspire fun date activities too.
For example, eating at French restaurant if you're learning French or (down the road, if things go well!) visiting Japan together if you're learning Japanese ✈️
6. Rec sports leagues 🏐
Recreational sports leagues are another easy way to meet women near you.
Most cities of 10,000 or more people have informal leagues for sports like softball, kickball, volleyball, soccer, and more.
To get started, ask around about rec sports leagues at work (many companies have teams), or Google search to learn what's available near you.
Worried you're insufficiently experienced or athletic?
Don't worry 😊
Some rec sports leagues are more serious than others...
But most leagues function primarily as social organizations, not hubs for intense competition!
Explore your options, and find something that fits your tastes and abilities.
7. Restaurants 🍝
If you're dining out, and a cute woman catches your eye...
You can and should start a conversation!
There are some rules here. Obviously you shouldn't interrupt a woman on a date, and if she's dining in a large group, it may be difficult to find an in.
If she's at the restaurant alone, or with a female friend, though, try breaking the ice contextually:
- 🍕 "I'm sorry to interrupt your meal, but I have to ask about that pizza. Is it the burrata?"
- 🍹 "I hope you don't mind me asking — are those Aperol Spritzes as good as they look?"
Depending on how she responds, you can kick the ball forward by:
- Continuing the conversation if you really hit it off and she invites you to join her 🗣️
- Sending her a drink if it feels like you connected, but it's not natural to continue chatting in the moment 🍸
- Moving on if she doesn't seem receptive 🤷
Want to meet a lot of women fast?
Make a habit of asking a woman a question about her meal whenever you dine out!
Just remember to keep your conversations friendly, and keep your expectations in check.
8. Dance classes 💃
Dance classes are arguably my favorite way for guys to meet women in-person!
- Dance classes attract attractive women. I'd bet the average ratio of women to men in dance classes is at least 2:1 👯♀️
- Dance classes encourage interaction. Depending on the type of class, e.g. partner dance like tango, interaction may be required 🤝
- Dance classes get you moving. This is great for your fitness (burn calories!) and mental health (endorphins!) 🔥
- Knowing how to dance is attractive. Even if you don't meet a woman at the dance class, you'll have a much easier time meeting women on any dance floor you set foot on afterward 🕺
Google search for studios near you, or keep your eyes peeled the next time you're walking downtown for a dance studio.
Also, one word for the wise...
Don't expect to LOVE the first dance class you take.
There are as many types of dance as there are personality types. If you're more country, you may not love hip-hop or waltz classes, but you may love two-step 🤠
Find something that matches your style and personality!
9. Online (e.g. dating apps like Bumble) 📲
If you're reading this, the thought of meeting women online may make you groan.
After all, you probably wouldn't be asking "how to meet women" if dating apps worked, and you were getting quality matches 😒
Here's the thing...
Once you build a great profile, meeting women online becomes easy!
The problem for most guys is that they're awful at marketing themselves on dating apps, which means:
- Most guys on dating apps struggle along with few or no matches 🥲
- The handful of guys with great profiles clean up 😙
I share step-by-step instructions in one of the free guides you can unlock below, but high-level, you need to do three things:
- 📸 Fix your photos. Ditch the low-quality photos someone took of you during Obama administration, and get fresh photos to showcase the things that make you you.
- 📝 Write a better bio. My #1 piece of advice here is to be more specific. Don't just tell her you love to travel — literally share sensory details about your last trip.
- ☑️ Create proof points. Proof points, like the photo-verification option most apps offer, show women that you're the type of guy they want to go on a date with, not a scammer / stalker / screwball.
I know it can feel like dating apps are rigged against you...
But I've helped enough guys go from zero to dozens of matches per week to guarantee that the problem isn't you, it's your profile.
Don't get discouraged!
10. Through work 💼
This might sound controversial in today's ultra politically correct world, but I'm saying it anyway...
Your work is a natural place to meet a romantic partner!
Think about it.
You spend enormous amounts of time with your colleagues, they often have similar interests and backgrounds, and you usually have an excuse to chat 😏
You do need to be careful when approaching a coworker, though, check out my free guide on how to approach a coworker crush for more tips.
The most important things to know are:
- 🐢 Don't rush things
- 😅 Assume anything short of a clear "yes!" means "no"
- ⚾ One strike and you're out (i.e. don't ask the same colleague out >1 time)
11. Through friends 🤝
If you're wondering how to meet women, "through friends" might feel like a cheap answer.
If it were that easy, wouldn't you have met someone already?!
Here's the thing...
Friends are an amazing way to meet women, if you're deliberate.
Here are three intentional strategies you can try to meet women through friends:
- 🍖 Organize a +1 event. For example, host a BBQ at your house, invite friends, and ask the friends you invite to also invite a friend you don't know. This ensures you'll meet someone new!
- 💌 Ask for introductions. More people like to play matchmaker than you might think. You can flat-out ask your friends for introductions by saying something like, "I've been dating around but haven't met anyone I like yet — know any girls who you think I should meet?"
- 🤝 Make new friends. If you're thinking to yourself, "my friends suck and don't know any girls..." then you owe it to yourself to stop reading this, and start making new friends!
Side note: don't be afraid to make (or lean into existing) platonic female friendships. Women tend to know more women than men 🙂
How To Meet Women - Next Steps
If you're tired of feeling confused around women you like, and ready to start feeling confident fast, I'd love to share my best free guides so you can make progress immediately:
- 📲 What I Swipe Right On (how to improve your matches on apps like Hinge fast)
- 💬 Master The Message (how to create more chemistry via text)
- 🏀 How To Bounce Back (dating 101 for newly single guys)
- 😅 You're Nice, But... (dating 101 for "nice" guys)
Just pop in your details below, and I'll send over your free guides right away!
Let's get your dating life on track!
I’ll share your guides and a couple tips a week. 100% privacy, no spam or b.s.