BLAINE'S FREE TEXTING GUIDE
📲 You’ve met a woman you’re excited about, and you got her number...
Bravo!
But now you have to text her, and excitement becomes anxiety:
- 🤔 First you think about what to text…
- 😗 You type it out…
- 🤐 Then you furiously erase it, and retype something else…
- 😒 That's not quite right either, so you try again…
- 😓 After 2-3 more rewrites, you nervously launch your message & hope for the best…
💬 Texting women can be stressful.
☝️ But it doesn't have to be!
Usually if you’re sweating a text, it’s because you’re overthinking things.
Ready to take a load off?
Here’s how to handle 4 common and needlessly stressful SMS scenarios 👇
Q1: HOW SOON SHOULD I REPLY?
This is one of the top five questions I get asked about texting.
The short answer is, don't worry about the timing of your texts!
Seriously. You're focusing attention on the wrong thing.
Women only notice you’re replying too fast if the conversation is boring 😅
If texting you feels boring, her thoughts might drift toward:
"Why doesn't this guy have anything better to do than text me?"
If you're having a great conversation, though...
She's not paying attention to whether you replied 5 minutes or 5 hours!
If anything, she'd probably prefer you respond faster than slower, so your banter maintains momentum 😃
Worried she gets the wrong impression from your responsiveness?
- ❌ Don't sweat waiting 30 minutes or 2 hours to reply (or otherwise gaming your SMS timing strategy...)
- ✅ Be busy enough in your personal life that you're not looking at your phone every 30 minutes in the first place...
- ✅ Send messages that women are genuinely excited to receive from you!
Unsure how to have send messages women are excited to receive?
Legendary beauty, actress, and seductress Marilyn Monroe once said:
"If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything."
If you're genuinely funny to interact with via text, you'll have trouble keeping women off you!
You don't need to be a SMS comedian to attract women, though.
The true #1 rule of texting for men is...
When in doubt, only text for the logistics of planning dates.
If you remember nothing else from this guide, remember that it's OK to skip the chit-chat via text!
If she gave you her number, it's precisely because she expects you to ask her on a date.
📲 Receiving the following message from a guy you like:
Free for drinks at XYZ next Thursday 6pm?
... is exciting enough!
To summarize:
Text her to ask her out.
Get to know her in-person.
Q2: Our date is this weekend. Should I text in the meantime?
The answer to this question follows the same logic as the answer to the first question.
🙃 Have something genuinely fun to banter about?
📲 Absolutely send your crush a text!
Especially if this woman is a Hinge or Bumble match, though, where you don't know much about each other already...
❌ Skip the text!
Women don't really want to answer boring "how's your day?" type questions from men they barely know.
You actually put yourself at a disadvantage if you force dry conversation before your date.
Again, it's 100% OK to use texting solely for logistics.
This is true at least until you've been on ≥2 dates, and you know enough about each other to lead more-casual conversations!
Don't be afraid to let the texts rest until the day of your date, when you should text to reconfirm your plans 👍
Q3: She stoped replying. What should I do?
Before you worry, take a deep breath, and diagnose the situation:
- Did she miss just one text and prior to that, you had a consistent and balanced back-and-forth going?
- Or, has this happened before (e.g. maybe you've now texted ≥2 times to crickets)?
☝️ If she’s just missed one text, it's possible she's had a busy day.
Give it 24 hours, then send her a simple and light-hearted feeler to try to reignite the conversation.
📲 Something short & sweet like:
Gentle nudge :)
... should do the trick.
Let's not sugarcoat things though.
If she waited >24 hours to reply to your text, you're not her priority ❤️
(If she's into you, she's usually eagerly awaiting your texts, the same way you're awaiting hers!)
But there's a chance she's genuinely busy, and has different standards for response speed than you do!
If this is the case, patience is a virtue, and rushing things works against you.
Texted twice without a response, though?
She’s ghosted you 😔
This sucks, and I'm sorry...
But it's actually OK, because she's the wrong woman for you.
(Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't value your time?! 🤨)
Ghosting is awful, but resist the urge to scold.
Calling a woman's poor manners out may feel satisfying in the moment, but it's counter-productive.
If anything, texting her "Ghosting is so rude..." just turns her off more.
(And you'll deserve any awkward in-person encounters that karma rewards you with in the future 😅)
As the saying goes, you never look GOOD trying to make someone else look BAD.
Just move on.
Also, resist the urge to shoot another shot.
Typically when a woman ghosts you, it’s not because she decided on a whim she wasn't interested.
She ghosts because she concluded you couldn’t read subtler hints she made to signal "not interested."
Continuing to text as if she DIDN'T ghost you only strengthens her conviction that you’re not her guy.
It's OK to send a gracious goodbye text like:
Hey! I'm sorry we didn't connect. I enjoyed meeting you. Text me if things change down the road :)
… before cutting the cord. You won't regret taking the high road like this.
But then actually cut the cord ✂️
If she thinks it's OK to ghost you, she doesn't deserve more of your attention.
Every additional minute you spend thinking about her?
That's a minute you could better spend pursuing a woman who reciprocates your interest!
Q4: Can I use emojis?
It always amuses me how many guys are uncomfortable with emojis.
It’s A-OK to use emojis.
They don't make you seem childish or feminine 🙃
Think about how much meaning is conveyed in a real-life smile, wink, or frown...
We lose all this communicative texture and depth via SMS.
Emojis help recapture that missing texture!
Plus, according to a 2019 University of Zurich study, emoji usage was positively correlated with both landing dates, and frequency of having sex 🤭
Basically, absolutely sprinkle an emoji or two into your text conversations.
Just remember this rule for emojis:
Use them deliberately!!!!
Emojis are like swear words.
They mean LESS the MORE you use them.
If you overuse them, they lose their meaning, and you look silly.
Here’s a simple test you can use to guide your decision-making:
- If your emoji helps you drive home a point like adding a 😉 to emphasize sarcasm, you’re using emojis perfectly!
- If your emoji doesn’t help you make a point save it for another time.
Recap & Next Steps
OK, today we learned that:
1. Response quality > response speed. If your message is one she wants to read, you never have to worry about texting her back too soon.
2. No need to carry the conversation between dates. It's OK to leverage SMS just for logistics (i.e. planning your next outing) — forcing dry conversation can actually work against you.
3. Ghosting happens to the best of us. Gracefully let girls who ghost go, and focus your attention on women who value it.
4. Emojis are A-OK. You can absolutely use emojis without seeming childish, as long as you use them with purpose.
Want to never send the wrong message again?
Candidly, this was just the tip of the iceberg.
All of my best texting tips (and actual scripts you could literally copy and paste) are in my Texting OS course 🤫
It covers every single text you need to send to go from match to relationship, with zero stress or anxiety, so you never say the wrong thing again!
Here's the first lesson, on the house:
To unlock the full course for $149, sign up HERE 🎉
Want help with more than just texting?
Complete my coaching application below, and I'll share a personalized plan within 24 hours!