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Signs she wants you to make a move


How to tell, from a girl


Small circular headshot of Blaine smiling, gazing off to the leftBy Blaine Anderson
Last updated Nov 25, 2022
10 minute read

As a woman, I'll admit it...

When we're interested in a guy, women rarely make the first move.

(It may not be fair, but such is life ðŸ˜œ)

However, women do use subtle signals to show their interest in men, and if you're single and mingling, you'd be wise to learn and look out for them.

The 10 most important signs a girl wants you to make a move are:

  1. She finds reasons to talk or text you
  2. She's highly responsive to you
  3. She pays you compliments
  4. She laughs at your jokes
  5. She puts her best foot forward with you
  6. She makes herself available to you
  7. She looks over at you often
  8. Her friends bring her up to you
  9. She’s interested in your personal life
  10. She remembers things you said

Read on for an explanation of each below, or tap any of the signs listed above to skip ahead!


 

Blaine in red outfit, walking outside away from the camera, looking back and smiling

By the way, if we haven't met...

I'm Blaine, and I'm a dating coach for men!

My advice on InstagramTikTok, and YouTube reaches 2+ million men every month, and I've been featured in the NYPost, Forbes, Vice i-D, Cosmo, and more.


 

Now without further ado...

1. She finds reasons to talk or text you

A girl with water bottle, smiling to a guy

If you've ever noticed that a girl has gone out of her way to initiate conversations with you...

For example, she:

  • Texts you to make conversation, and asks about your day, or shares stories from hers
  • Gravitates toward you in social settings, and always seems excited to chat with you
  • Drops by your desk to ask questions, particularly questions she could ask someone else

There's a solid chance she's romantically interested in you!

By finding reasons to talk with you, she's both (A) signaling she enjoys your company, and (B) giving you opportunities to make a move ðŸ™‹‍♀️

Obviously, context matters.

It's very possible she's just being friendly when she talks to you...

Two things you should consider that can better illuminate her intentions, and how you should respond:

  1. How does she treat you, vis-à-vis other guys? If you're getting special treatment (i.e. she seems to chat with you than anyone else), it's a good sign she has more-than-platonic feelings for you.
  2. Is this the only sign, or are there others? Short of her flat-out saying it, no one sign in isolation can definitively confirm if woman is interested in you romantically. But the more of the signs you see, the higher the likelihood!

2. She's highly responsive to you

A girl in pink top, texting while smiling

In my opinion, the single most important and universal dating rule that everyone can benefit remembering is...

EFFORT = INTEREST

This is especially true when it comes to texting and communication ðŸ“²

Let's say you met a woman in a platonic context, you occasionally swap friendly messages on Instagram. You'd be interested in exploring the possibility of romance with her, but you're unsure if she feels the same way...

Her responsiveness will tell you everything you need to know.

Is she responsive and engaged when you communicate?

➡️ She's into you, and wants you to make a move.

Is she slow and disengaged when you communicate?

➡️ She's NOT into you, and you should invest your time and energy elsewhere.

In short, effort = interest, and responsiveness is an excellent indicator of effort!

3. She pays you compliments

A woman and a man in the kitchen, helping and talking with each other

Know how when you have a crush, your brain can stir up all sorts of glowing adjectives to describe her?

Women have the same feelings, and if a woman works up the courage to actually pay you a compliment, it's often a sign she wants you to make a move!

Consider how:

  • Compliments make us feel good. Receiving praise has the same positive neurological effect as receiving a monetary reward according to research, and people are generally drawn toward positivity.
  • Positive sentiment is contagious. When you receive a compliment, you're often inclined to pay one in return, and the good feelings grow.
  • Everyone wants to date up. The more a woman admires about you, the more interest she tends to have in pursuing something romantic with you.

In short, the next time a woman pays you a compliment, for example:

🗣️ SHE SAYS:
You're so good at that!

🗣️ SHE SAYS:
I think you look great.

🗣️ SHE SAYS:
You're so kind!

Rather than trying to brush her compliment off...

Treat it as a sign she likes you!

Pay her a genuine compliment in return, and consider making a move ðŸ˜ƒ

4. She laughs at your jokes

A woman with a white top, has a long hair and is smiling to someone, not looking at her phone

People laugh for a variety of reasons, but as the Scientific American points out:

Laughter is a public sign of our ability to recognize discrepancies. It is a sign that elevates our social status and allows us to attract reproductive partners.

For our purposes, this means...

If a woman consistently laughs at your jokes, she thinks you're smart and attractive!

For this reason, laughter tends to be a sign she wants you to make a move. Plus, laughing puts everyone in a good mood, which can also stoke romantic flames ðŸ¥°

Conversely, if you notice a woman tends not to laugh when you make jokes, it's a very strong signal she's not interested, and you shouldn't make a move ðŸ˜…

5. She puts her best foot forward with you

A woman with a light green top looks very happy

Know how when you think you might bump into a crush, before leaving the house, you might:

  • Wear an outfit you look good in
  • Dab on a tiny spray of cologne
  • Make sure you're in a good mood
  • Crank out 25 pushups

Women do the same thing!

 (Minus the pushups usually 😜)

If you notice details that suggest a girl puts her best foot forward when she's around you, for example:

  • She dresses nicely, or wears something special
  • She puts on makeup, gets a blowout or her nails done, or wears an alluring perfume
  • She is consciously in a good mood

... It can signal she wants you to make a move!

Remember, effort = interest ðŸ˜‰

6. She makes herself available to you

A woman smiling next to the guy beside her, while they are in the computer

One of the most potent signs a woman wants you to make a move is that she makes herself available to you.

For example, if she:

  • Responds "I don't really have plans!" if you ask her about her weekend...
  • Proactively asks what you're doing this week or weekend, and mentions it sounds fun...
  • Is enthusiastic, and follows through, when you ask to spend time with her...

 ... She probably wants you to make a move!

This doesn't require a lot of explanation: by making herself available, a woman is giving you opportunities to initiate, so act on them â˜‘️

7. She looks over at you often

The woman wearing a white top is smiling to someone, while she's looking away from her lapatop

Ever been at a coffee shop or housewarming, and noticed that every time you look over at a specific girl, she's been looking at you?

When a woman repeatedly glances at you, it's often a sign she wants you to make a move!

Body language expert Monica Moore's courtship research found that women will gaze across a room to capture a man's attention to deliberately signal him to approach.

Obviously there are situations where eye contact doesn't mean a woman is romantically interested...

For example, a woman might repeatedly glance at you if a bird poops in your hair ðŸ˜…

But especially in combination with other signs, repeated eye contact and glances absolutely indicate a woman wants you to make a move!

If you're close enough to notice, look at her pupils too.

If they're dilated, it's often a sign she's romantically interested 🔥

8. Her friends bring her up to you

A man and a woman talking and smiling to each other while holding mugs

Remember how in middle school, communicating your interest in a girl involved an elaborate game of telephone, and even brokering, between friends?

Thankfully most people age out of this! Even as adults, though...

If a woman wants you to make a move, it's not unusual for her friends to mention it, or her, to you.

This isn't a deliberately avoidant tactic — it's usually just a function of how:

  • Most women won't directly tell you if they want you to make a move ðŸ™Š
  • Most women do communicate openly about their feelings with their friends, though ðŸ‘¯
  • Everyone loves to play cupid ðŸ’˜

Notice a woman's friends tend to bring her up in conversation with you?

(Particularly if they drop not-so-subtle hints like "she thinks you're cute...")

Make a move already! 

9. She’s interested in your personal life

A woman wearing glasses is reading a book in the park

Just like how effort = interest...

Interest = interest!

When a woman is highly engaged with everything going on in your personal life, for example:

  • The specifics of a project you're jamming on at work
  • How your parents and siblings are doing
  • Your plans for travel later this year

It's often a sign she wants you to make a move!

In general, people are as interested in the activities you're involved with as they're interested in you.

(This is why Mom is always happy to hear about your trip to the grocery store, even when you know sharing details about what yogurts you bought might bore anyone else to tears ðŸ¥²)

In short, if a girl engages with your personal life, and especially the mundane details, there's a good chance she's interested in becoming more deeply involved!

10. She remembers things you said

A woman in ponytail is smiling while looking away from the laptop

The same interest = interest principle we covered above applies here, too.

If a woman remembers little things you said, like:

  • Why you needed to drive six hours, and who you were visiting, last weekend...
  • How you were interviewing for a new job...
  • When you're jumping town for the holidays, and when you'll be back...

There's a good chance she's wants you to make a move!

We tend to remember things that are subconsciously important to us. So when a woman remembers details about your personal life, it's a sign you're on her mind ðŸ™ƒ

Wrap up & next steps

Photo of Blaine in navy outfit, seated at a table, smiling and waving while looking into her computer

I hope this overview of the signs a woman wants you to make a move was helpful 🙋‍♀️

The most important things to remember are:

  • Individual, isolated signs don't mean much. We discussed this already, but to emphasize the point... Your boss may be interested in your personal life, and remember things you said, because she has a professional interest in your work, not because she wants you to make a move!
  • Ask if you're unsure. Check out my article on ways to tell a girl you like for help floating your interest out in a non-needy, and non-awkward way that will help you get the answers you need.

Anyway, now that you're familiar with the signs...

Here are three ideas to help you find a partner who shows them ðŸ˜œðŸ‘‡

Idea #1: Follow me on Instagram

I share dating tips and silly content about my personal life on my Instagram every single day.

Idea #2: Unlock my FREE guides

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I'd love to share my best FREE dating guides with you:

  • 📲 What I Swipe Right On (how to improve your matches on apps like Hinge fast)
  • 💬 Master The Message (how to create more chemistry via text)
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  • 😅 You're Nice, But... (dating 101 for "nice" guys)

Just tell me where to send them here!

I’ll share my free guides, plus a couple tips a month. 100% privacy, no spam or b.s.

Idea #3: Read more articles