How To Bounce Back Fast

Blaine in a tan blazer, leaning back on a chair, smiling

Recently exit a long-term relationship?

It's natural to feel "out of shape" dating-wise:

  • You’re unpracticed. Successfully being single is like a muscle that atrophies with time 💪
  • The dating game may have changed since you were last single. Particularly if it’s been 3+ years since you were last on the market, things are different now 🆕

The good news is that it’s easy to get back in the game.

You just need to understand what’s changed, and get your rear in gear.

Today we'll cover the three trends you need to know, and strategies you can use to rebound fast 🏀👇

1. She’s looking for purpose, not perfect

There’s been a demographic shift in what single women seek in a partner that’s been especially acute in the wake of COVID:

  • 🙅‍♀️ Women are less interested in a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet and save them (particularly in a financial sense!)
  • 🙋‍♀️ Women are more interested in men who pursue their passions and lead fulfilling lives they can take part in.

This is particularly true amongst Millennial and Gen Z women, who make up the bulk of the singles out there.

Women are increasingly seeking purpose, not perfect.

Don't get me wrong...

💰 Financial stability and personal accomplishments are still attractive.

But not at the cost of wasting away working 24/7 on something you hate.

That's not a lifestyle quality single women seek today!

🤔 What does this mean for you?

To date successfully today, you need to communicate effectively about your purpose and passions.

Women want to understand what motivates you, and what you’re working to accomplish, before they’ll “swipe right” (or the equivalent IRL).

For example, contrast the screenshots of these two chefs’ dating app profiles below:

Which profile best communicates purpose and passion?

  • Chef #1, who doesn't even look like a chef?
  • Chef #2, who took a pro photo in his kitchen & makes lobster rolls?

Which profile do you think she’s swiping right on?!

This concept extends way beyond online dating.

If you’re the real-life equivalent of chef #1, and you can’t inspire women about what you do, don’t expect many dates.

💡 Ponder your purpose & passions.

  • What inspires you?
  • What are you working toward?

Communicate about these when you meet women in-person and online!

2. She’s Online

Animation of a woman tapping keys on her phone

You don’t need a dating coach to tell you that dating is increasingly moving online…

Even as Coronavirus precautions fade into the past, more and more couples are connecting on apps like Hinge and Bumble 📲

"Matching" isn't the only aspect of dating that has shifted to the web, though...

Vetting and trust-building have too 💡

For example, there’s a >90% chance that cutie you just chatted up at the coffee shop will Google your name to learn more about you before she commits to a date.

What does this mean?

☝️ First, if you want to meet women, you should give dating apps a shot.

I get it. You hate dating apps, and you’d rather meet women offline.

But guess what?

If you don't at least try dating apps out, you’re severely restricting your options.

☝️ Second, polish your broader online presence.

Put your best foot forward in at least the obvious places she’ll find you online, because she will find you!

For example:

  • 🧼 Scrub your Facebook & Instagram for photos with your ex. One or two pictures scattered amongst others is OK. A shrine to your relationships past isn’t. If you’re unsure what photos should stay vs go, err on the side of appearing single.
  • 👔 Update your LinkedIn profile picture. You don’t want to look like a Goofy when she sniffs into your career.

3. She Doesn’t Want Baggage

You probably know better than to discuss your ex on a first date with someone new 😊

But you might unknowingly bear unwanted baggage from your last relationship in other ways. For example:

  • 🙈 Do you look like you just exited a long-term relationship? If your wardrobe was primarily purchased during the Obama administration by your ex, it’s time to invest in some new outfits.
  • 🙉 Do you sound like you just exited a long relationship? Lines like “I’ve not been single in so long…” or “I’m brand new to dating…” can send the wrong message if you use them as a crutch.
Animation of a variety of detritus falling out of the door of an RV

She isn’t looking for someone who looks and sounds confused or unsure about being single!

She’s looking for a guy who’s thriving, happens to be single, and is into her.

💪 It’s your responsibility to be that thriving, single guy.

Embrace your new single lifestyle, and put your own spin on it:

  • Refresh your wardrobe 👕
  • Pick up a new hobby 🏓
  • Research and plan fun dates 🍹

Make it happen!

Recap & Next Steps

Photo of Blaine in a blue jacket, seated on a light colored couch, smiling.

OK, what’d we learn today again?

  1. She’s looking for purpose, not perfect. If you don’t have a personal narrative that inspires her, make time to craft one 📝
  2. She’s online. And unless you want to miss out on a lot of attractive women, you need to be too 🌐
  3. She doesn’t want baggage. Embrace being single, and make your future different from your past 🚀

... and if you want to truly rebound with force (we're talking 1996 Dennis Rodman 🏀) just fill out the form below, and let's chat about how I can help!

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