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What the heck is a dating coach?


Small headshot of Blaine smiling, with her hand touching her hairBy Blaine Anderson
Last updated Oct 9, 2022
7 minute read

If you're curious about coaching, you're in the right place!

I wrote this article to answer questions guys ask me about coaching and my career πŸ™‹‍♀️

You can skip ahead by tapping any of the questions:

  1. What is a dating coach for men?
  2. What qualifies you to be a dating coach?
  3. Does coaching even work?
  4. How much does coaching cost?
  5. Is hiring a dating coach worth it?
  6. Is coaching right for me?
  7. Who is the best coach for men?
  8. How should I choose a dating coach?
  9. How can I get started?

 

Blaine in red outfit, walking outside away from the camera, looking back and smiling

Before we dive in...

I'm Blaine, and I'm a dating coach for men! My tips on InstagramTikTok, and YouTube reach millions of men every month, and I've been featured in the NYPost, Forbes, Vice i-D, Cosmo, and more.

Join the 60,000+ guys who get my FREE dating advice πŸ‘‡


 

Now without further ado...

1. What is a dating coach for men?

A guy holding his phone or texting and smiling

A dating coach for men is someone, like yours truly, who can help you:

  • πŸ‘‹ Meet more women you're attracted to both in-person, and on apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Dil Mil.
  • 😏 Learn to flirt, tease, and create chemistry so you communicate better with women.
  • πŸ“² Send the right text messages so you land dates, and stop getting ghosted.
  • πŸ“… Plan fun dates that lead to deeper connections and relationships.
  • πŸ’‡ Upgrade your appearance so you look and feel more attractive (e.g. advise on your wardrobe or grooming).
  • 🀠 Build confidence so you feel more secure, and less anxious, when you interact with women.
  • πŸ” Find the right partner based on your lifestyle, needs, and criteria.

2. What qualifies you to be a dating coach?

A man seated in a library, looking at his phone with one hand, taking notes with the other

My most important credentials are my clients' results πŸ˜Š 

Through my courses and coaching programs...

I've helped 1,000+ guys learn to attract women they like!

More than 95% report they'd recommend working with me to a friend. You can check out my clients' stories on my Testimonials page, and my new Wall of Love!

3. Does coaching even work?

A man lifting boxes into the back of a truck, with a woman standing next to him

Coaching absolutely works, as long as you hire a good coach 😜

Whether you personally will see results with a dating coach depends on a few things:

#1: The scope of what specifically you want to accomplish.

  • Strictly want help with tactical things like texting? You can see results virtually immediately with a self-serve program like my Texting OS.
  • Struggling with self-confidence? It may take weeks, or even months, of focused effort to notice a real improvement.

Many men who are considering investing in a dating coach want to accomplish larger goals, which is why I offer my 12 week Jumpstart program.

#2: How hard you work.

Stepping back, coaching ≠ magic, and contrary to popular belief, dating is a lot like any other skill. The more effort you invest, the better the results you’ll get.

You can’t cheat the grind, but the same way you will get pretty damn good at tennis by playing for an hour a day with a pro for 3 months, you will get pretty damn good at dating by devoting an hour a day to working with me for 3 months.

#3: How well you follow directions.

Having worked with 1,000+ guys, I’ve observed that (A) there is a big difference in how well some men follow directions versus others, and (B) this difference is directly proportional to the results guys get from my programs.

  • Good at following instructions? For example, school wasn’t too hard when you applied yourself? You will get results fast.
  • Bad at following instructions? For example, in school, sometimes it felt like no matter how hard you worked, you just couldn't understand things... Candidly you may not see results with my programs, and I wouldn't want you to make a bad investment β€οΈ

4. How much does coaching cost?

man with a headphone, writing in front of a laptop

Different coaches have different pricing models and rates πŸ“Š

Speaking for myself...

My programs range from $149 for my Texting Operating System to $4,995 for my 12-week 1x1 coaching program Jumpstart Your Dating Life, with my Dating Masterclass in between.

Rather than attempting to catalog different coaches' prices, which can vary dramatically, here are a few trends I've observed on the cost of coaching:

  1. Established coaches aren't cheap. If a coach has built a national or international following, they may have more demand for their services than they can keep up with, and their rates reflect this.
  2. Expensive ≠ effective. I can't tell you how many guys have told me horror stories like, "I spent >$10,000 on another coach, but I'm no better off than I was before..."
  3. Getting help doesn't need to break the bank. Good dating coaches will have offerings that work for different budgets.

5. Is hiring a dating coach worth it?

a guy holding a map and smiling

πŸ˜™ Hiring a coach can be a four-figure investment, so this is a fair question!

If you're unsure whether it's worth it, consider:

  • What are results worth to you? Most good coaches aren't cheap, but if a coach can help you build the skills you need to attract an awesome partner, that may be very valuable.
  • What's your opportunity cost? If hiring a dating coach would represent a significant financial burden (e.g. you'd have trouble making rent), don't hire one. But if the cost won't materially impact your quality of life, hiring a coach could be a great investment, because there's terrific upside.
  • What happens if you don't hire a dating coach? Think into the future: what does your life look like in 3 months or 3 years if you don't make a change? What could your life look like in 3 months or 3 years if you do?

Also, most good dating coaches (myself included) offer a money-back guarantee. This can enable you to try coaching with minimal risk.

6. Is coaching right for me?

Man with bald head in the center of the frame, seated in an audience, surrounded by other people who are listening to a speaker, and smiling

😜 Asking this question to a dating coach is a little like asking a barber if you need a haircut! 

But I'm blessed to be in a place professionally where I regularly turn down prospective clients, so I think I can answer objectively...

The honest answer is it depends.

Many guys can benefit from working with a dating coach, but some guys can’t...

The three key considerations are:

#1: Do you believe you can grow? As long as you believe you have opportunities to learn and improve your skills, you'll get good results with a dating coach. However, some guys believe they’re “beyond help,” and this attitude is self-fulfilling... Framed another way, it’s hard to learn if you don’t believe you have anything to learn.

#2: Are you motivated? The more motivated you are to make a change, and achieve a specific result in your dating life, the more likely you are to find value from coaching. If you're merely curious, or you’re not sure what you want, you're less likely to achieve results no matter how skilled your coach is.

#3: Can you invest? If you can comfortably invest time, energy, and money in improving yourself and your outcomes with women, a dating coach can be very helpful. If you’re working 90-hour weeks, and don’t have the time or energy to invest in yourself, you won’t get great results from coaching.

7. Who is the best coach for men?

A guy with two women in the gym

I'd love to think of myself as the best dating coach for men, but honestly it's impossible to identify one "best" coach because:

  • Comparisons are seldom apples-to-apples. Different coaches have different focuses (e.g. some coaches are "pickup artists" who focus on "game" for meeting women at bars; others, like me, focus on helping men find relationships) so comparisons are apples-to-oranges.
  • Coaching performance is opaque. There's no public source of truth for client outcomes, which would enable us to actually determine who the most-effective coach is.

I do know one thing for certain, though.

πŸ’© Lists like "the top dating coaches disrupting the industry" are b.s.

The agency that creates the lists isn't evaluating coaches' skills, or their clients' outcomes...

They just charge coaches $700 to join the list!

Here's the solicitation email they sent me:

Screenshot of the solicitation email Blaine received to be on Yahoo's top female dating coaches list.

These pay-to-play "best dating coach" lists are gross and embarrassing.

Avoid dating coaches who point to fraudulent credentials like this πŸ˜’

8. How should I choose a dating coach?

a guy in the grocery store choosing a food or yogurt

There are great dating coaches out there, as well as plenty of imposters you should to avoid...

To find the right coach, the three most important things to consider are:

  1. Do you trust the coach's advice? Most coaches publish free advice to social media to attract clients (e.g. I share tips daily on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube). Do these tips resonate with you, and seem actionable?
  2. Does the coach have real testimonials? Good coaches will have dozens of client testimonials like mine you can review. If the coach you're considering can only point you to a handful of shady-looking testimonials, run.
  3. Do you want to spend time with them? If you move forward with a dating coach, you'll be communicating with them closely (or watching hours of their programming), so it's important you enjoy their company.

If your answer to all three questions is "yes," you've probably found a good coach!

9. How can I get started?

Photo of Blaine in navy outfit, seated at a table, smiling and waving while looking into her computer

That's what I'm here for!

Just fill out the form below, and I'll be in touch ASAP πŸ‘‡

Don't worry, it takes <60 seconds, and it's 100% private.

Xo Blaine

I’ll also add you to my email list if you're not on it already. 100% privacy, no spam or b.s.